CleanLaugh list member Richard Killey sent me this real life school note dilemma in response to the above list of actual school excuse notes.  He wrote,

Pastor Tim, Maybe you can use this one sometime.

"I can't hand in my essay because my mom burnt my only copy in the oven."

True story.  I saw it happen from my chair in the living room.

My wife was cooking supper when my daughter Stephanie (who was very excited about her creation) ran up and said, "Mom, look at this.  It is so good." and handed the essay to my wife who had oven mitts on.

The essay slipped out of her hands and fell inside the oven and touched an element.  Poof.

Richard Killey, Copyright 2002, Used With Permission