Here are some of the "All-Time Dumbest Questions" asked by Banff Park tourists.
On nature...
- How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
- At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
- Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk.'" Tourist: "Oh."
- Are the bears with collars tame?
- Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
- Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
- Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
- I saw an animal on the way to Banff today ... Could you tell me what it was?
- Are there birds in Canada?
On geography...
- Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? (while standing in the middle of Banff!)
- Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
- Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
- Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
- If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
- Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
- How far is Banff from Canada?
- What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
On tourist facilities...
- Do they search you at the B.C. border?
- When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
- Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
- Are there phones in Banff?
- So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles? We're on the decibel system you know.
- Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
- Is that 2 kilometers by foot or by car?
- Don't you Canadians know anything?