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CleanLaugh Jokes - #11
GEORGE CARLIN QUOTES:
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door
went nuts.
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
there.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be
gone.
I said, "The whole time."
So what's the speed of dark?
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has
been dis-ing them anyhow?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me
are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
Special Olympics?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
"s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the
battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
Shouldn't they be called builts?
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