It's Your Turn to Be Funny #16!

Holy Mackerel, your sinuses WERE really clogged., Jon McVay

All "ducted out" with NO place to go., dc

Hello Chief, this is Spiderman.  I had a little problem when I sneezed., Jon McVay

Hey honey, I'll be late for dinner!!, dc

Following Pastor Tim's DIY instructions for goobers! (If it moves and shouldn't- use the duct tape!), John B, UK

I heard he was stuck up, but this is too much!, John B, UK

I think these new seat belts are just a TAD restrictive., Jon McVay

007 grinned inanely as he waited for them to fill the pool and let in the sharks., John B, UK

Another one of the 2001 uses for Duct Tape:  keeping you husband in line.  You go girl., Skimmy

I told you you're not going out tonight., Becky from Kazoo

As Elvis would say, " Hey, hey, I'm all stuck up"., Judy from Texas

Let me tell you about this new diet I'm on!, Charlie

I thought you said "DUCK", d

Hm, looks like this 'Your Turn To Be Funny' is about all wrapped up !!, Judy from Texas

Even though this is quite stimulating, I have to go to the bathroom, Joyce S

Wow, guess I really am a sound sleeper., Bruce

Hugo's first attempt at imitating his hero "The Human Fly", was less than impressive....., Web-Eagle

NOW let's see him sneak out after I've gone to bed!, Mandy J.

Hey! I thought the new fad was to use Velcro suits?, Mary Nelson

Spider mans new tactic is to now use..... DUCT TAPE!! Beware all evil, number wearing, gym teacher imposters~!, JMP

Hey guys, I didn't really mean it when I said you were lousy b-ball players.  Now could you please take me down!?, Jacinda

Ralph really meant it when he said he was going to 'stick to it'., Jacinda

'Are you sure this is the best way to prepare for sleeping in space?', Jacinda

Fred said he'd do anything to get on Pastor Tim's show., DanE

Doug just had an encounter with 'Duct-tape man', Jacinda

Pastor Tim's church was one of the first to introduce the "Express Baptism".  The method was later abandoned after participants complained of loosing teeth and eyes due to the extreme fire hose pressure!!!!!, jeffsilverman.com

"Dad trying to save money on tile repair", Lisa Stewart

Little boy to his sister: "Grandpa has way too much time on his hands since he retired last month!", Lisa Stewart

A shortage of jail cells has forced local law enforcement agencies to come up with creative ways to detain their suspects., Chris

Hi.  I'm from Florida and my name's Chad.  Hanging Chad., Chris

When Cyril finally outgrew the baby bunting in which he so loved to be wrapped, his mom found ways to improvise that snug, safe and secure environment for him., Chris

Joe's HMO wouldn't cover chiropractics - but his Uncle Jeb promised this would work just as well., Chris

Following the George W. Bush presidential victory, democrats tried desperately to "wipe the smile" off of independent council Kenneth Starr's face!!!!!!, jeffsilverman.com

Even the 3M Tourniquet Duct Tape Division, couldn't cure this man of his "smile-itis". He later went on to be with the Lord after a botched attempt to remove the tape from his arm hair., jeffsilverman.com

"Can some one please scratch my nose", Kenny M

Bill; "After 117 hours, the duct tape is still holding strong!"  Director:  "CUT!"  "Bill, that was great but this is a serious commercial so please wipe that smile off you face.", Malcom

This is why they put those stupid warnings on labels, chadj

gee, I was only trying to help wrap the packages; her way seems to be the fastest, gammmie@cs.com

Roland on the job at "Fly On The Wall Investigations"., Camille

"Cool!  This means I'm in the club, huh guys?  Uh, guys?", Camille

Yep!  Those Egyptians have it all over us when it comes to making mummies!!, Al Lawson

Look Ma, no hands!, Audie*~

Boy! I'll bet if I had been No. 48, this wouldn't have happened to me., DanE

The 102nd use for duct tape., your budy bronko

Uh!  I have to go potty now!, Sandra B.

Guys, what are you going to with those pies., Laives

Top 10 things not to say to an electrician......, Darin

Pastor Jim goes for the cheap illustration for his ascension sermon., Carlton Allen

No, No!  I have to recount those ballots just one more time!, D. Tindell

"Smilers, never loose.", Sylvia Saberniak

Five bucks to anyone who can hit his head!, Mathew Sears