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Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
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Written by Pastor Tim
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Tuesday, 02 March 2010 08:18 |
This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m. for anyone under seventeen years of age.
He told his Dad how happy he was that now he could stay out until 3:00 a.m. if he wanted.
"Yes you can stay out as late as you want, but the car is under seventeen and it has to be in the garage by eleven." His father said.
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Written by Pastor Tim
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Monday, 01 March 2010 10:03 |
"Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop.
My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" I asked.
"Yeah, you was my English teacher."
Leaning over, my husband whispered, "Good job, Honey, good job."
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Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing |
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Written by Pastor Tim
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Thursday, 25 February 2010 11:11 |
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-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars.
-- The bill came with payment coupons.
-- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist.
-- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'"
-- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.
-- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray.
-- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.
-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic.
-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"
-- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing:
"We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...."
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Written by Pastor Tim
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Wednesday, 10 February 2010 11:48 |
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Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm.
Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear.
Not only that -- you'd be surprised at how many people waved back.
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Written by Pastor Tim
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Monday, 08 February 2010 20:22 |
They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant.
An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.
The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."
The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
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