“Don’t dig your grave with your own knife and fork.”
- English Proverb

The pastor told the search committee, "If I am voted in as pastor of this church, I will work hard to bring us into the 20th century."

Someone spoke up, "Uh, Preacher, don't you mean the 21st century?"

The pastor replied, "Let's take it one century at a time."

"Men do not differ much about what things they will call evils; they differ enormously about what evils they will call excusable."
- G.K. Chesterton

The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to come to church to be with his third grade Sunday school class.

Finally after talking to the boy and his mother for what seemed to be the hundredth time the boy finally agreed to go this next Sunday, which he did and seemed to enjoy all of the proceedings except as the baptismal service began he ran out the back door and ran all the way home. His mother asked him why he ran home instead of riding with the youth minister.

Read more: Baptism