You Must Be A Teacher If...

~ You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.

~ You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."

~ You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

~ You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."

~ When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

~ Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SO much simpler.

~ You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

~ You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.

~ You've never had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job. 

~ You can't have children of your own, because there is no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

~ Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"