Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations do not go together:

A nose ring and bifocals

Spiked hair and bald spots

A pierced tongue and dentures

Miniskirts and support hose

Ankle bracelets and corn pads

A bellybutton ring and a gallbladder surgery scar

Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

Bikinis and liver spots

Short shorts and varicose veins

In-line skates and a walker