2004 - Monthly Archive - Results from #240

19 Jul

Dr. Harold McNabb

4266

6 min read

Give Us Ears

At our session this past week I opened the meeting by reading the same passage from Amos that was read for us this morning. At the conclusion of my reading, one of your elders said in humor, "I am rea... read more..

19 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3525

<1min

Goober Nails

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goober were working on a house. The one who was nailing ... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5782

<1min

Rich Guy

One day a rich man drives pass a open field and he sees a guy standing there eating grass that was about 2 inches long. The rich man stopped the car and asked the guy why he was eating grass. T... read more..

18 Jul

Joshua Goodling

5256

8 min read

This Is Christianity

Mark Twain is quoted as saying; "If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian." The sad truth is the way many people who claim to be Christians today live their lives, Mr. ... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3260

<1min

Boss Prepared

As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed his secretary and asked her to break the news indirectly to his boss. His note read, "Failed in securing clien... read more..

17 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3665

3 min read

A Depressing Reality?

{mosimage}"What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14b) I don't know about you, but when I read that verse, I thought, how true and how depres read more..

16 Jul

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

4238

4 min read

THROUGH....the Valley!

A Hurting Word... So what's a valley? Here's three possibilities: "Red River Valley" - "Valley of the Dolls" - "Valley of the Jolly Green Giant" (Beware! Recognition of these titles "may" reveal you... read more..

15 Jul

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4294

3 min read

Time of Rest

Have you ever had a week that was so overwhelming that it made you physically tired? You just felt so drained and out of sorts that you were unable to function. Function to me means being able to type... read more..

15 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3222

<1min

Advertising Terms Explained

*Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the comp read more..

14 Jul

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7646

5 min read

Missed Vulgarity - Some Were Not Amused

On July 14, 2004, I missed a vulgar word in the PearlyGates item I sent out. To apologize and clarify, I sent out the following note (be aware that the missed word appears in print twice below). Pas... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3312

3 min read

Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh, (which I think went to the same place that socks go to when they disappear from the dryer) that I thought I ha... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5263

<1min

Slow-Driving Grandma

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder... read more..

13 Jul

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4411

2 min read

Get With God

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God."Matthew 6:33 (KJV) Wow, what a voice! It was deep, melodious, and strong as one of my favorite singers sang from a gospel video. Actually, I had attended a live c read more..

The Plumb Line Of God...How Do You Measure Up?

12 Jul

Dr. Harold McNabb

6094

7 min read

The Plumb Line Of God...How Do You Measure Up?

The Plumb line of God...How do You Measure up? Amos 7:1-17 Just before the death of actor W.C. Fields, a friend visited Fields' hospital room and was surprised to find him thumbing through a Bible. ... read more..

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3559

<1min

Marine Comeback

During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from home. The drill instructor (DI) was getting irritated at having to keep calling my name. "You must have a lot o... read more..

10 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4195

3 min read

Don't Mess with Mama

A friend once told me about being hired by the government to study the bears in a certain area. He and another man set up a camp in the midst of known bear territory and began the work. They had bee read more..

09 Jul

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

4118

3 min read

Pain and Peace!

A Hurting Word... Salt and pepper...ham and eggs...bread and butter...pain and peace? No way! If you've ever known emotional pain, then you know there's certainly no peace in it! True--but it can le... read more..

08 Jul

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4260

2 min read

Friends Come And Friends Go

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24 Most of us have had many friends over our lifetime. Some read more..

07 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3861

3 min read

Marriage and the Purposes of God

{mosimage}Lately, all across Canada, there has been a lot of debate about the same-sex marriage issue. Recently many of us attended rallies across the country to show our opposition to the proposed read more..

07 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4008

<1min

Marriage Proposal

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.A student spoke up and said that he had recently... read more..

06 Jul

Melva's Devotions

Pastor Tim

4492

2 min read

Shielded By His Wings

"He will shield you with His wings. He will shelter you with His feathers.His faithful promises are your armor and protection."Psalm 91:4 (NLT) I am a mother of two and grandmother of four.&nbs read more..

05 Jul

Dr. Harold McNabb

4551

9 min read

No Fire, Lightning or Thunder

"And There Was No Fire, Lightning or Thunder"2Kings 5:1-14 Saddam Hussein's photo is once again in the news. This time we see pictures of a cleaned up Saddam making his appearance in a court of law. read more..

04 Jul

Sandra Boyte

Pastor Tim

8797

<1min

More Than Words

What words can I useTo show my gratitudeFor all You have done for me?And what can I say,That will show, in some way,How You, Lord, have set me free? There are no wordsTo speak Your Grace,Your wonderf... read more..

04 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3190

<1min

Window Entry

A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a man come hurling headfirst through the window."What on earth are you up to? What just happened?" he demanded."I'm t... read more..

03 Jul

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

6697

2 min read

Oats and Brandy

At 4:10 am, on April 29, 1903, seventy to eighty million tonnes of rock slid off the face of Turtle Mountain, killing approximately 75 people and trapping many in the little town of Frank, Alberta.&nb... read more..

03 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3414

<1min

Restroom Bugs

I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the sanctuary is a restroom facility that is separate from other buildings. A common topic of conversation was a problem ... read more..

02 Jul

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

4742

6 min read

Red, White and Blue Christians

Happy Birthday, America! Bring out the red, white and blue EVERYTHING--flags, cakes, T-shirts, jewelry, decorations, and little-kid decorated wagons! We Americans love the Fourth, love Ameri... read more..

02 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3442

<1min

As It Lies

Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the score "all-square" at the 18th tee.Bill slices his tee shot way left, and the ball finally stops on the cart path... read more..

01 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4336

3 min read

Everybody?s a Cowboy?

{mosimage}There’s cowboy music in the air. Literally. It’s coming from loudspeakers and fiddle players on the street corners. You can hear the commentator calling out the times for bull ri... read more..

The Strange Case of the Spirit and the Flesh

28 Jun

Dr. Harold McNabb

4058

8 min read

The Strange Case of the Spirit and the Flesh

In 1886 Robert Louis Stevenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. The story is about a respectable doctor who experiments with the idea that people have both a good and evil self.... read more..