2004 - Monthly Archive - Results from #330

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3159

<1min

Flight Control Software

At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers ... read more..

23 Apr

Today's Cartoon

Pastor Tim

24716

<1min

Today's Cartoon

Wire Backup

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back t... read more..

14 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3187

<1min

Dieting Buddies

Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently."Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other ou... read more..

13 Mar

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

7917

2 min read

Remember The Nails

Andrew Stawicki is always extremely and generously nice to me when we meet because I saved his life when he was shipwrecked in 1998. Really. Ok, technically it was Bob Bullen, a man who used to go t... read more..

13 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3072

<1min

Textbook For Sale

Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sel... read more..

05 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3285

2 min read

Retirement At The Inn

Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn ... read more..

19 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3561

<1min

Heard By Tech

Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave Windows?"Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microw... read more..

18 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3856

<1min

Software Training

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.At first, he handled most of the work. E... read more..

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3147

<1min

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."7) "Do you ha... read more..

13 Jan

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

8184

2 min read

Slippery Branches

Recently, I found myself standing at my bedroom window, looking out at the results of a rare (for Victoria) freezing rainstorm. As I surveyed my backyard, I spied, with my little eye, a robin fl... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3635

3 min read

No E-mail (copyrighted??)

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a ja... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3453

<1min

Life and Death

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."Underneath, a nurse had written:"The last five are pretty risky,... read more..

03 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3260

<1min

Larger Than 20

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."The woman in front of us, pointing ... read more..