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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3574
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1766
<1min
One-liner #0445
“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1900
<1min
One-liner #0446
“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1847
<1min
One-liner #0447
“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1955
<1min
One-liner #0448
“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2068
<1min
One-liner #0449
“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1983
<1min
One-liner #0450
“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1709
<1min
One-liner #0451
“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0452
“I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1764
<1min
One-liner #0453
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”~Will Rogers
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1721
<1min
One-liner #0454
“I doubt, therefore I might be.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1710
<1min
One-liner #0455
“I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1702
<1min
One-liner #0456
“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1793
<1min
One-liner #0457
“I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging - it'll be called You-Twit-Face.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1761
<1min
One-liner #0458
“I looked at my Christmas tree today and sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests..”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1775
<1min
One-liner #0459
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”- Bernard Manning
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2009
<1min
One-liner #0460
“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1712
<1min
One-liner #0461
“I told a girl she drew her eyebrows to high – she looked surprised.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2042
<1min
One-liner #0462
“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1914
<1min
One-liner #0463
“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2129
<1min
One-liner #0464
“I wish the chemists who successfully removed the lead from gasoline would try the same with our politicians.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1748
<1min
One-liner #0465
“I’d work out, but I’m still trying to perfect my ‘before’ picture.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1780
<1min
One-liner #0466
“I’ve decided to stop beating around the bush; I'm going to move on to the ornamental shrubbery.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1768
<1min
One-liner #0467
“I'd gladly participate in any experiment to test the effect of sudden wealth on an individual.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1744
<1min
One-liner #0468
“If a line is the shortest distance between two points, why does waiting in line take so long?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1820
<1min
One-liner #0469
“If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2027
<1min
One-liner #0470
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1772
<1min
One-liner #0471
“If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1812
<1min
One-liner #0472
“If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
2021
<1min
One-liner #0473
“If necessity is the mother of invention, I bet MacGyver is the father.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1857
<1min
One-liner #0474
“If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?”
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Results 2341 - 2370 of 3574