2016 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1230

03 Mar

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2166

<1min

One-liner #0995

So I just read Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine; apparently it's getting difficult to sell sober people a $10 cup of coffee.... read more..

03 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8120

<1min

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry h... read more..

02 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3526

<1min

Never Too Old

Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me. But to be perfe... read more..

02 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1396

<1min

Cybersalt News - March 2, 2016

I'm back. I had hoped to keep sending out mailings while Mrs. Cybersalt and I were back east in Toronto (visiting our daughter, son-in-law, and grandson) but fun family times trumped fun computer time... read more..

02 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2636

<1min

Earthly Treasures

Showing his friend around his his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'm going to sell ever... read more..

02 Mar

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2298

<1min

Quote #1443

"Faith is saying, 'Here I am' before we know our mission. Fear is wanting to know our mission before we say, 'Here I am.'" - Leonard Sweet read more..

02 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2928

<1min

Martial Arts

Martial Arts: I use my boxing skills sparringly.... read more..

02 Mar

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2028

<1min

One-liner #0994

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.... read more..

02 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4397

<1min

Moving Label

Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who take the time to label carefully boxes they pack for us. The accuracy of labels can make a huge difference wh... read more..

17 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1532

<1min

Cybersalt News - February 18, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I haven't mentioned this here yet, but my church has graciously and sacrificially given me a 6 month sabbatical, which began yesterday. The day started out very early with ... read more..

17 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2222

<1min

One-liner #0993

I misplaced my thesaurus and feel terrible; just terrible, really terrible.... read more..

17 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2411

<1min

Quote #1442

"Christians should not be optimists; we know too much about sin. We should also not be pessimists, for we know the living God." - Timothy Keller read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6217

<1min

Brain vs Brawn

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes,... read more..

15 Feb

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3942

<1min

Remove Child

Just in case some people go too far trying to save water! ... read more..

15 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2237

<1min

Quote #1441

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart form Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis read more..

15 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4982

<1min

Accents

About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are pl... read more..

15 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3662

<1min

Contractor

My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be a read more..

15 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2480

<1min

Inspiration

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" read more..

15 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1823

<1min

One-liner #0992

I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car. read more..

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

14 Feb

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1894

<1min

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

Jesus clarifies what God's desire is for our hearts in regard to our enemies. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160214.mp3{/audio} read more..

14 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1981

<1min

One-liner #0991

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his head. read more..

14 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2745

<1min

Quote #1440

"If you do not believe in regeneration, if you do not see its utter absolute necessity, then I do not see that you have any right to regard yourself as a Christian. If you do not see that you are so read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1586

<1min

Cybersalt News - February 15, 2016

There is a new Funny Cat Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Cat Antlers" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-antlers Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1537

<1min

Cybersalt News - February 16, 2016

There is a new Funny Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Remove Child" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/remove-child Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

13 Feb

Funny Cat Pictures

Pastor Tim

10791

<1min

Cat Antlers

This magical pillow shows what pets really think of themselves. ... read more..

13 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2912

<1min

Encyclopedia Surprise

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were ... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4642

<1min

Bilingual Parrot

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the string... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2988

<1min

Roadside Puppies

A dog who gave birth to puppies on the roadside was cited for littering. read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4538

<1min

Guard Dog

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took ... read more..

13 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1593

<1min

Cybersalt News - February 13, 2016

If you do not like puns do not go to Cybersalt's Valentine Pun page at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-puns/valentine-puns If you do like to read flame e-mails I am sent because some people can't take a joke... read more..