Monthly Archive

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 20951 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.

26 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4564

Old Red

Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80 is not "old." Red explained:"Old" is when your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anym... read more..

26 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2791

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.She was stretched, full-out, on the back ... read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4659

Bed Size

Come Rain or Come Shine

We were on our way to the reception when we saw them. The wedding party was gathered by a small bridge in a local park, milling around while the photographer got set up. The men looked dapper in read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3513

Anti-Burglar Signs

The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus.... read more..

24 Apr

Wonders of Creation

5116

4 min read

Modern is Better?

Modern is better - or so some people think, yet the crafts, techniques and technologies of the past continue to surface as superior to our so-called 'modern' improvements on them. The Viking s... read more..

24 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3276

Dynamite Bumps

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goobers are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty bea... read more..

24 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

4867

7 min read

Peace

Fear is a crippling emotion.When Hannibal attacked Rome, he brought African elephants to accompany his infantry. He hoped the sight of the monsters would spread fear and panic through the Roman legion... read more..

23 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4618

Pull Over

"Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars.She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examin read more..

23 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3249

God and Your Feelings

Peter Scazzero writes in his book The Emotionally Healthy Church that the area of emotions is a too long overlooked area when it comes to discipling followers of Jesus. He emphasi... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4714

Queen Size

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Q... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3405

A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to your nose and blow hard into the paper.If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.If it turns blue, see ... read more..

Beware The Ides Of April ? The Tax Man Cometh

21 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4117

5 min read

Beware The Ides Of April ? The Tax Man Cometh

This year curiously enough, Easter and Income Tax Day came the same weekend. One represents a cross borne for our sins and the other represents a cross we continue to bear for someone else’s sin... read more..

21 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9073

Ungrateful Son-In-Law

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care... read more..

21 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3406

Away Messages

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in y... read more..

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4330

Call To Mom

A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." ... read more..

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2863

The Batchelor

I realized that my six-year-old grandson had been watching too many reality TV shows the day we attended a cousin's wedding.As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the synago... read more..

20 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

4878

9 min read

Into Your Hands

The last words we hear Jesus speak from the cross are "It is finished. Into your hands I commit my spirit." And he gave up his spirit and died.Jesus had been able to say that the work God ha... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4039

School Daze

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I kno... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3264

Funeral Music

At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would like to enter the service to.One family asked to enter to, "Love me Tender."Well the day of the funeral arrived ... read more..

18 Apr

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4247

4 min read

Getting Ready

It seems the word anticipation is an appropriate one for this time of year. The snow is melting rapidly and the bushes are showing that faint red tint that tells us life is pouring back into them afte... read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6577

Remember The Elderly

The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady wrote.... Dear Pastor, Don't ever forget about us old folks. We are worth a fortune. We have Silver in... read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3344

Patio Problem

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.He stacked the blocks agains... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4107

What Mom Really Wants

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash) 9. To have my 14 year-old da... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2814

Interpreting Hotel Brochures

Old world charm ............. No bathTropical .................... RainyMajestic setting ............ A long way from townOptions galore .............. Nothing is included in the itinerarySecluded hid... read more..

16 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3933

Golfing Seniors

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, J read more..

15 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4471

4 min read

The Difference Between Men and Women

This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pr... read more..

15 Apr

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7892

3 min read

Top Step To Hell

In response to this item on the PearlyGates list: If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,"DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. T... read more..

15 Apr

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7701

I Hate Jesus

Brenden wrote: "Look man I hate Jesus Christ. He is a f***ing g*y b***ard and I never liked him so send me no more emails about the b***ard." Pastor Tim replied: "Really? When did you meet him and ... read more..

14 Apr

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4083

3 min read

Abridged Version

I just showed a video to my grade four class called The Easter Story. It was a cartoon version, abridged and modified for a young audience. I almost showed them a clip from the Jesus video which is mu... read more..

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