Monthly Archive

"When in doubt, look intelligent!" - Garrison Keillor read more..

So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?... read more..

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the r... read more..

Sign on a diaper service truck: "Rock a dry baby."... read more..

* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing. * At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carry read more..

Focus is an essential part of getting something done. Sometimes my focus is more on yesterday than it is today. I waste a lot of time looking backward. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage often re... read more..

How to Get Rid of Your Preacher: - Look him straight in the eye and say 'Amen' once in a while. He'll preach himself to death within a few weeks. - Pat him on the back and brag on his good points. H... read more..

I don’t think I’ve learned very much during my life. I just bounce from day to day and take what comes. The one thing I did learn as I look back is, for the most part, I didn’t do it my way. Remembe... read more..

Sunday greetings everyone. Thank you so much for all of the messages of sympathy, condolence, and encouragement after the passing of my sister, Melissa. Susan and I appreciate all of your spoken and ... read more..

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would t... read more..

"One thing I have learned from marriage is that my wife and I excel at misunderstanding. Clearly there is only one way to understand what I just said, right? I mean, what other way could there possibl read more..

Chocolate is God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.... read more..

A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. We asked one of the standard questions, "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?" "Yes, it has a kickstand... read more..

A lady was having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas and she was down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaimed, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next t... read more..

Oh look, the first Chicken Thursday of 2022 - Happy New Year! I had intended to send a new year mailing out sooner than this, but simply ran out of energy and emotional gas on the weekend. In my... read more..

"I may not be that funny or athletic or good-looking or smart or talented ... I forgot where I was going with this..." read more..

Don't cut through the wheat field Granny! You're going against the grain.... read more..

This is a story about a little girl who, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the Preacher's sermon this morning confused me." The mother said, "Oh! Why is that?" The ... read more..

As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a couple who had just checked in after a long flight came by and asked me where the lift was. "Go down the hill," ... read more..

"There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in." - Desmond Tutu read more..