Monthly Archive

May 2006

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 68 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4753

Aging

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.I forg... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4388

Deep Thoughts

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
6729

God's Family Plan

The dishes, garbage, and dirty laundry would pile up for days when Cat and Harlan Barnard's teenage children refused to do their chores. So the Barnards—of Enterprise, Florida—went on ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4584

Cats

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.""As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.""One cat just read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2808

Money Worries

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business."I need someone with an accounting degree,... read more..

Sermons
Pastor Tim
3294

Emotional Health - Break the Power of the Past

Our family of origin and significant events in our past are the primary realities that affect our emotions and feelings today.  If we don't understand this about ourselves we are doomed to re... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4007

Miscellaneous Ponderings

A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I have a work station...  GO FIGURE!If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?I believe five... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4094

Mom's Cooking Was Nothing To Write Home About

With all the ballyhoo today around diet and nutrition it amazes me, as I look back, how I ever survived my mother’s culinary endeavors. According to modern nutritional experts, she did everythin... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3038

Elementary Motherhood

Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions: Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.2. Think about it. It was the b... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4065

Cruising

These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1.  (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady ... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
5040

Mothers Can Only Do So Much!

Mother? Oh, Mother? How many times have you heard those words? Often times they are reeking with excitement, or perhaps fear or anguish! I can remember rushing to the aid of my children, when I heard ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3880

Inspiring Music

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.Therefore, he was annoyed to... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2566

You Know You Are a Geek When

You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."You get bittersweet nostalgic feelings about your long-lost Commodore 64 (or Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80, etc.) a... read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
8346

Was Jesus Worshipped?

I want to speak about a topic that was introduced a few weeks back by a couple of different callers who were contesting the deity of Jesus and whether or not the New Testament actually taught that. On... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4592

Dial A Prayer Twist

They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now.  You can call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3017

Garage Wow

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ad... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4001

Lost Balloon

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces height and spots a man down below.  He lowers the balloon further and shouts:"Excuse me, can you tell me where ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2882

Traffic Laughs

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line.* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is ant read more..

Wonders of Creation
5813

Organic Molecules

What is an "organic molecule?" When scientists announce that they have found one, the impression that a layperson gets is that this molecule can, like magic, suddenly produce life!  It ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4119

Shoe Repair

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop.  The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old.&nbs... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2767

Milk Switch

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular c... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4040

Forgotten Watch

A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting.  He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long.  I le... read more..

Sermons
Pastor Tim
3349

Generational Punishment

Do you feel doomed spiritually because of what one of your ancestors did to displease God?  Some people say that God curses families for up to 3 or 4 generations when someone has sinned, but... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3555

12 Step Web Addicts Recovery Program

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.3) I will get dresse read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
5910

Getting Past the Resurrection

How forgetful are you? Have you ever forgotten birthdays, doctors appointments, the keys that smiled at you from the ignition of a locked car. I remember hearing a story about a fellow whose wife call... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2696

People and Mistakes

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.People who do less work... make fewer mistakes.People who do no work... make no mistakes.People who make no mistakes... get promoted.That's why I sp... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4113

Strawberry Fertilizer

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.  A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?""Fertilizer,&qu... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4038

Aging Does Have Its Many Rewards

One day last week while draining my morning cup of coffee for the sixth n or was it the seventh n time, I can’t remember, a thought struck me. It has been such a long time since a thought has struck m... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2917

Thai This For a Change

An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What w... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
5451

An Invitation

I received an invitation in the mail yesterday. It's one of the home-made kind, with a border of stamped flowers around the edge. The card is really just a courtesy since I have been asked to read more..

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