Monthly Archive

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.I forg... read more..

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don... read more..

The dishes, garbage, and dirty laundry would pile up for days when Cat and Harlan Barnard's teenage children refused to do their chores. So the Barnards—of Enterprise, Florida—went on ... read more..

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.""As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.""One cat just read more..

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business."I need someone with an accounting degree,... read more..

Our family of origin and significant events in our past are the primary realities that affect our emotions and feelings today.  If we don't understand this about ourselves we are doomed to re... read more..

A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I have a work station...  GO FIGURE!If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?I believe five... read more..

With all the ballyhoo today around diet and nutrition it amazes me, as I look back, how I ever survived my mother’s culinary endeavors. According to modern nutritional experts, she did everythin... read more..

Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions: Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.2. Think about it. It was the b... read more..

These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1.  (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady ... read more..

Mother? Oh, Mother? How many times have you heard those words? Often times they are reeking with excitement, or perhaps fear or anguish! I can remember rushing to the aid of my children, when I heard ... read more..

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.Therefore, he was annoyed to... read more..

You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."You get bittersweet nostalgic feelings about your long-lost Commodore 64 (or Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80, etc.) a... read more..

I want to speak about a topic that was introduced a few weeks back by a couple of different callers who were contesting the deity of Jesus and whether or not the New Testament actually taught that. On... read more..

They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now.  You can call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.... read more..

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ad... read more..

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces height and spots a man down below.  He lowers the balloon further and shouts:"Excuse me, can you tell me where ... read more..

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line.* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is ant read more..

What is an "organic molecule?" When scientists announce that they have found one, the impression that a layperson gets is that this molecule can, like magic, suddenly produce life!  It ... read more..

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop.  The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old.&nbs... read more..

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular c... read more..

A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting.  He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long.  I le... read more..

Do you feel doomed spiritually because of what one of your ancestors did to displease God?  Some people say that God curses families for up to 3 or 4 generations when someone has sinned, but... read more..

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.3) I will get dresse read more..

How forgetful are you? Have you ever forgotten birthdays, doctors appointments, the keys that smiled at you from the ignition of a locked car. I remember hearing a story about a fellow whose wife call... read more..

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.People who do less work... make fewer mistakes.People who do no work... make no mistakes.People who make no mistakes... get promoted.That's why I sp... read more..

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.  A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?""Fertilizer,&qu... read more..

One day last week while draining my morning cup of coffee for the sixth n or was it the seventh n time, I can’t remember, a thought struck me. It has been such a long time since a thought has struck m... read more..

An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. "What w... read more..

I received an invitation in the mail yesterday. It's one of the home-made kind, with a border of stamped flowers around the edge. The card is really just a courtesy since I have been asked to read more..