Monthly Archive

"I'm looking for a loophole." - W.C. Fields, who had been flipping through the Bible on his deathbed, 1946 read more..

"An open mind is considered as a fine thing -- except when you use it as a garbage can." read more..

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." read more..

"Opinions are like the nose on our faces: Everyone has one and there are usually a couple of holes in them." read more..

"God gives every bird his worm, but he does not throw it into the nest." read more..

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." - Sam Levenson read more..

"I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it when you join in." - Mick Miller read more..

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows." - Erma Bombeck read more..

"Kind words cost you nothing, yet their worth is priceless!" read more..

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." - Erma Bombeck read more..

"Money is like manure, it's no good unless you spread it around." read more..

"Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and it annoys the pig." read more..

"The reason you are stronger when you are younger is that you need to be. Mostly because you are more stupid." - Henry Miller read more..

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance, waiting for the bathroom." - Bob Hope read more..

"A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never." read more..

"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him." - Booker T. Washington read more..

"Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?" - Benny Hill read more..

"Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way." read more..

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.'" - Erich Fromm read more..

"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." - Albert Einstein read more..

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope." - Sir Winston Churchill read more..

"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. read more..

"There will always be prayer in schools as long as there are exams." read more..

"It is in the expectations of happiness that much of happiness itself is found. And it takes courage to expect happiness." - Earl Nightingale read more..

"To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing." read more..

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else." read more..

"The purpose of all war is ultimately peace." - Saint Augustine read more..

"The difference between genius and stupidity is, genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein read more..

"A turtle makes progress when it sticks its neck out." read more..

"I have a new philosophy. I am only going to dread one day at a time." - Charlie Brown read more..