July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1230

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1373

<1min

One-liner #0571

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1413

<1min

One-liner #0572

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1395

<1min

One-liner #0573

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1485

<1min

One-liner #0574

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1537

<1min

One-liner #0575

Death to fanatics!... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1438

<1min

One-liner #0576

Do you think chickens find a rubber human funny?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1450

<1min

One-liner #0577

Doctors can be frustrating - you wait 6 weeks for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1407

<1min

One-liner #0578

Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1359

<1min

One-liner #0579

Don't fix the blame - fix the problem.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1432

<1min

One-liner #0580

Don't tell God how big your problems are - tell your problems how big your God is.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1416

<1min

One-liner #0581

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1396

<1min

One-liner #0582

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1457

<1min

One-liner #0583

Don't wear your glasses on a blind date - you'll look better, and your date will too.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1530

<1min

One-liner #0584

Employment application blanks always ask 'Who is to be notified in case of an emergency' and I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1372

<1min

One-liner #0585

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1382

<1min

One-liner #0586

For others who may not know this: When the preacher says, You may now kiss the bride, he's only speaking to the groom.- David Gunter... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1486

<1min

One-liner #0587

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1471

<1min

One-liner #0588

FREE ONE DOLLAR BILLS! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling - limit 1 per order.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1421

<1min

One-liner #0589

Grandchildren are God's reward for you not killing your own children.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1463

<1min

One-liner #0590

Growing old has one advantage - you never have to do it over again.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1518

<1min

One-liner #0591

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1468

<1min

One-liner #0592

Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1529

<1min

One-liner #0593

How come you never see Cupid with a girlfriend?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1451

<1min

One-liner #0594

How do they get the 'Do not walk on grass' signs way out in the middle of the lawn?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1514

<1min

One-liner #0595

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1508

<1min

One-liner #0596

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1413

<1min

One-liner #0597

I have a speech impediment... my foot.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1393

<1min

One-liner #0598

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be.- Spike Donner from Ruminations... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1404

<1min

One-liner #0599

I hope that after I die, people will say of me, "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1446

<1min

One-liner #0600

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.... read more..