Monthly Archive

The meeting of the clairvoyant society has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.... read more..

The proper response to Good morning, is not Prove it!... read more..

The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well is that they both have a common nemesis.... read more..

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.... read more..

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.- Willie Tyler... read more..

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.... read more..

The trouble with life is there's no background music.... read more..

The word "aerobics" was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $20 an hour, we can't call it Jumping Up and Down."... read more..

The words "Do It Yourself" or "Self-Help" are really code for "The Way Chuck Norris Does It."... read more..

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.... read more..

There are two secrets for success:1. Don't reveal all your secrets... read more..

There was once a movie entitled, How to Irritate People. It is obviously the employee training film at my local bank.... read more..

There's a sign above the scale in my doctor's office that says, "Pretend it's your IQ."... read more..

This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.... read more..

To lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd.... read more..

Two things hard on the heart: running up stairs and running down people.... read more..

Vegetarian. That's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'- Andy Rooney... read more..

Want Ad: Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks "frog."... read more..

We're looking for interested folks who would like to join 'Time Travelers for a Better Yesterday' last week.... read more..

What a hotel! The towels were so fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase. - Henny Youngman... read more..

What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?... read more..

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.... read more..

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive . . . so I took her to a gas station.... read more..

When I was a child and got dirty, my mother would spit on a handkerchief and use it to clean the dirt off - I guess in her mind, muddy and disgusting was better than just muddy.- David Sigmon... read more..

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me and I said, "What do you need?"... read more..

When repairmen say they'll "Come sometime next week," I usually say, "Fine, I'll pay you sometime next year."... read more..

When Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California, movie mogul Jack Warner said, "It's our fault. We should have given him better parts."... read more..

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service.... read more..

Why does the label on Children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?... read more..

Why should I learn algebra? I have no intention of ever going there.... read more..