Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1892 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6728

Flea

Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2253

Flies

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2200

Floor Boards

Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floor boards?He was just going through a stage.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2558

Florist Problem

Some monks were running low on funds, but didn't want to close up their monastery. After much consideration, they decided to start selling the flowers they grew. Soon after opening up shop, business b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1905

Flu Differences

What's the difference between Bird 'Flu and Swine 'Flu?For one you need Tweetment and for the other Oinkment.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3750

Flying Pun

What's the purpose of the airplane propeller? To keep the pilot cool.-If you don't think so, just let it stop and watch him sweat!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2713

Folk Song Pun

My Uncle Jim did not appear to be much for words. Nor, was he ever seen to have friends or pets. We thought he was the primordial loner, until one time we caught him with his ant farm.He loved the c... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1990

Food Pun 1

The sandwich dates back to the time man discovered he could not live by bread alone.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4455

Food Pun 2

Q: How can you use a lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume to create something tasty? A: Make a beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1815

Free or Not Free

The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3206

Freedom

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be hap... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
14057

Frisbee Pun

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2674

Frisbees

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2200

Frog Pun

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1971

Funeral Expenses

A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1931

Game Hunt

They have a game hunt each year at the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts. They call it "Hyena sport."~Gary Hallock... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2008

Garden Theft

"Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3409

Garnish Pun

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2458

Gasr

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3039

Gear Box Pun

A friend of mine tried to build a gear-box for his car using nothing but dried grass. It was never going to work; I think he was clutching at straws.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2049

General Pun

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota.Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1925

Genius Farmer

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2729

Gerald the Infamous Reindeer Pun

My brother, a pastor, has done some methodical research and discovered the name of another one of Santa's reindeer - Gerald Lee. Gerald was bigger than the rest of the reindeer, and not too gifted in... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2656

Ghost Marriage

I once knew a woman wanted to marry a ghost.I don't know what possessed her!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2932

Ghost Pun

An intrepid photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred years.Not wanting to frighten off the ghost, the photographer s... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1830

Gift

"My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away."- Rodney Dangerfield read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2004

Gift Disappointment

The rich aunt was hurt and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.""I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I d... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1944

Gift Pun

The fight between good and evil, an epic battle: Darth Vader and Luke. Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"Luke... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2249

Giuseppe Spomdalucc

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said."Sorry, s... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3815

Gladys Pun

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy ... read more..