Monthly Archive

Having survived my first driving lesson, I emerged from the car to come face to face with a woman standing on the pavement. "A bit nerve-wracking, was it?" she asked."More than that," I laughed, "My i... read more..

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's Illustration.Five years after my wife, Bridgid, and I were married, we received... read more..

Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possib... read more..

From the Scottish Daily Record 2-Dec-01.Some bus fare dodgers in the UK who, thinking they were getting away with avoiding bus fares by using substitute coins in the fare machine, were giving away a t... read more..

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, "Mummy, where do babies come from? "The stork, dear." replied Johnny's Mom. "Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?" Asked Little Johnny. Johnny's mo... read more..

Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but... read more..

Even though I'm well into my 30's I still stop by my parents house to mow their lawn. One afternoon the young kid next door was cutting his grass at the same time."It's punishment for skipping a day o... read more..

During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future.One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The ... read more..

During the Air Force Academy's basic cadet training, the new cadets, known as doolies, go through a ten-day encampment outdoors. Prior to being served in the chow tent, they are required to do pullups... read more..

During a temporary shutdown of operations at a large plant, trained police dogs were hired to protect the building from vandalism. A company executive who was unaware of the new regime arrived at the ... read more..

During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get div... read more..

Debbie wasn't home, and it was getting awfully late. Not knowing any of her girlfriend's phone numbers, her Mother fired-up Debbie's computer and saw a list of email addresses. She sent a note to each... read more..

Dearest creature in creation,Study English pronunciation.I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.I will keep you, Suzy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.Tear in... read more..

Dear Santa,I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money ... read more..

Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" she asked."Nothing," he answ... read more..

City officials in Mesa, Arizona, have mistakenly installed two bus shelters where no buses run. The installation cost $19,000 at a time when the city is cutting its public transit budget to save mone... read more..

Christianity Is A CrutchBy Reverend Isaac Unger - Used With PermissionI clearly recall the day that one of my professors and I sat for several hours discussing the validity of Christianity's claims an... read more..

Bob Hope once received an award and graciously gave full credit to his four writers for making it possible.The next to receive the award was Bishop Fulton J. Sheen. He stepped to the mike and with a g... read more..

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?""I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers ... read more..

Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit. "What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!" "Tha... read more..

Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance.One question asked, "Do you think... read more..

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table."Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "... read more..

Because my parents were married on Aug 27, my dad gives my mom an "anniversary" card on the 27th of every month as a way of showing her how much he loves her and appreciates their 40 years together.I ... read more..

Barbecuing - It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do.When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:(1) The woman goes to the store.(2) The woman... read more..

At the Internal Revenue Service where I used to work, no officer was immune from letters of complaint written by disgruntled taxpayers. One time an irate farmer wrote to my supervisor: "Please tell O... read more..

At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration."Tell us, Tom, just what is it you hav... read more..

At a dinner party, one of the guests was an obnoxiously loud young man. He made disparaging remarks about everyone and everything. When served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it u... read more..

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit... read more..

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.The Instru... read more..

As a member of the Marine Corps, I was stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms Base in California. Among those serving there was a private who was determined not to re-enlist. At inspection one morning, the ... read more..