Monthly Archive

Merger ManiaA number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called Fairwell Honeychild.There is a me... read more..

Once Horace Gold [my editor] went too far. He rejected a story of mine which he called "meretricious." The word is from the Latin meretrix, meaning "prostitute," so that the implication was that I wa... read more..

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting the weather for the TV news program.He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a reco... read more..

The minister once blessed his cows,It seems that this was wise,For when he milked them in the mornThe milk was pastorized.... read more..

A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn. So the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became ... read more..

Missionaries do Emmanuel labor.... read more..

Last night, I was frustrated by a mole who was digging up the hill toward the house, leaving a trail of mounds. So I went outside to take the hose and try to wash the mole out of its tunnel. As I le... read more..

When it comes to money, lots of people are satisfied to let the rest of the world go buy.... read more..

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.... read more..

In the early 1700s, the captain of a Spanish pirate ship was very proud of his mongrel pet for its ability to bark once for "Si," and twice for "No."After being captured by a British commander, the do... read more..

Q: Why don't the monkeys in the jungle play poker any more?A: There are just too many Cheetahs.... read more..

A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the North Woods of Canada. Both liked to hunt. They were hunting for deer, when all of a sudden, a moose popped up in front of them. It was so unexpected, neithe... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMESteam shovel operator's son: DougHair stylist's son: BobHomeopathic doctor's son: He... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEUndertaker's son: BarryBeautician's son: CurlyGardener's daughter: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEJeweler's daughter: OpalGastrointerologist's daughter: FannyButcher's daughter: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEHot-dog vendor's son: FrankGambler's daughter: BettyExercise guru's son: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMETennis player's son: AceClothing manufacturer's daughter: Polly EstherTeacher's son: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEMuseum curator's son: ArtBook printer's daughter: PaigeTrout fisher's daughter: B... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEManicurist's son: HansAthlete's son: VictorPlumber's son: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEIron worker's son: RustyTV show star's daughter: EmmyMovie star's son: ... read more..

More Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMEMinister's daughter: FaithDay-trader's daughter: HopeTelevangelist's daughter: ... read more..

"The Human Brain" by Sara Bellum"Please Don't Hurt Me" by I. Bruce Easily"Life Through the Eyes of a Drunk" by Al Coholic"Thirty yards to the outhouse" by Will E. Makeit (illustrated by Betty Wont)"Th read more..

A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holderon the vehicle?""I've got a kickstand," the prospect... read more..

Two mice met behind a toaster in a Columbia, Maryland household."It's been a long time." the first said. "How's everything?""Great!" the second replied. "I have three brothers in pharmaceutical test... read more..

Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing."What did you find?" he asks."I am not sure," comes the answer. "It looks like a piece of film ... read more..

There was a congregation that decided to have four worship services each Sunday.There was one for those new to the faith.Another for those who liked traditional worship.One for those who had lost thei... read more..

Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica. "Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?" "Of course not, Noah. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my l... read more..

The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a n... read more..

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.... read more..

Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....PROFESSION: NAMELawyer's daughter: SueThief's son: RobLawyer's son: WillDoct... read more..