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Monthly Archive

2016

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1328 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
2550

Mabel's Aid

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Ma... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1071

Hard to Explain

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1520

Quote #1571

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." Psalm 145:13b read more..

Clean Jokes
2983

Cry On for Crayons

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1762

Sovereignty and Wisdom of God

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous la... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1146

One-liner #1123

"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
690

Cybersalt News - September 14, 2016

There is a new FunBlog entry today. You can watch "Tripal Spiral Dominoes" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/triple-spiral-dominoes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

FunBlog
Pastor Tim
1582

Triple Spiral Dominoes

We like watching dominoes falling as much as most average people, but this tripal spiral of 15,000 dominoes sure dialed our enjoyment up a notch! ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1205

Toy Return

"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?" "Aisle B, back." read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1134

Quote #1570

"Don't bother to give God instructions; just report for duty." - Corrie Ten Boom read more..

Clean Jokes
3624

Listening In

A long time ago, before the days of cell phones, I needed to call home, and the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would ... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1632

Housecleaning Philosophy

I don't do windows because...I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because...I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terribl... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1027

One-liner #1122

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; depends on how much happiness you can handle. -George Burns... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
630

Cybersalt News - September 13, 2016

Yes, there were no mailings on the weekend and Monday. Since my sabbatical ended I've been *trying* to maintain healthier hours. That and a change in my sermon preparation habits combined to bump thos... read more..

Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
2633

Blind Soccer

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game".  They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice i... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
1354

Pardon My French, S'il Vous Plaît

When I was young, a saying went around, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me.” Supposedly it was to make me ignore people saying nasty things about me. For the mos... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1661

Self Image, Discipline, Dieting

A middle-aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all... read more..

Clean Jokes
3920

Combination Faith

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor'... read more..

Sermons
Pastor Tim
963

Elephant Killing Wisdom

When we rely on human wisdom and fancy words to try and convert people to following Jesus, we empty the cross of its power. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160911.mp3{/audio} Pastor Tim refer read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1293

Quote #1569

"Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee." - Augustine read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
995

One-liner #1121

I am always going the extra mile: because I never stop for directions.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1023

Say Cheese

If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
637

Cybersalt News - September 9, 2016

I enjoy people who enjoy their jobs, so I enjoy the people in today's FunBlog entry. You'll find "Knocking Big Rocks Down" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/knocking-big-rocks-down Enjoy the rest of today... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1141

Diet Anticipation

I just want to be as thin as my patience.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1080

One-liner #1120

I need to get in shape; if I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.... read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1840

Harvesting, Frustration

Two farmers were comparing notes on the poor harvest. "Jeb, I'm telling you the wheat was so poor I had to harvest it with scissors." "That's nothing, Grady. I had to lather my field and shave it."... read more..

FunBlog
Pastor Tim
1334

Knocking Big Rocks Down

The guy at the end sums it up the best, "It's fun to knock those bigs rocks down; it's very fun."  ... read more..

Quotes
Pastor Tim
1026

Quote #1568

"Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."   - Simone Signoret read more..

Clean Jokes
3523

Senior "Favorite Things"

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American Association of Retired Persons). Ms. Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, "Favorite Things". There were a fe... read more..

Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
673

Cybersalt News - September 8, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt site. Do you know someone who always likes to go bigger in a race? This guy looks like one of those types. Check out "Rubber D... read more..

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