2017 - Monthly Archive - Results from #210

13 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2927

2 min read

An Old Farmer's Advice

~ Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. ~ Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. ~ A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. ~ Words that soak ... read more..

13 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5704

<1min

Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

* "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was." * "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.&nbs read more..

12 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1252

<1min

One-liner #1224

The relationship between Husband and Wife is very psychological - one is Psycho and the other is Logical; now please don't try to figure out Who is Who.... read more..

10 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

962

<1min

Cybersalt News - September 10, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! My sermon from last Sunday is now on the Westside Bible Church website. Not only are good works the evidence of faith, they are also the expression of Wisdom. You can hear ... read more..

10 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1150

<1min

Small Things

God is not bothered by small things and so neither should we. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170910.mp3{/audio} read more..

10 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

5413

4 min read

My Sneeze is No Gentle Breeze

It has been days (or has it been years) since I have enjoyed a sneeze free day. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage told me it is simply that time of the year and I should learn to deal with it. "A... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6905

<1min

Sewing Machine Ad

The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY:For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine fo... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5337

<1min

Turnip

I put some turnips, his least-favorite vegetable, on my eleven-year-old son's dinner plate and instructed him to eat everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip. I pointed out to him that... read more..

09 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2244

<1min

Kids on the Bible

The statements below are said to have been written by actual students, that they are genuine and NOT retouched or corrected: - Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. - The Egyptians were all drowned in... read more..

09 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1273

<1min

Quote #1669

“I know why I want my morality to save me. If I’m saved by my good works, then like a taxpayer, I have rights. I’ve paid into the system and God owes me a good and decent life. And there is a limit read more..

08 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1275

<1min

One-liner #1223

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.... read more..

07 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1044

<1min

Cybersalt News - September 7, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Tommy A., who sent this authentic picture titled "Farming in Ireland, 1937." I know it's not photoshopped because there were no com read more..

06 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3363

<1min

Lieutenant Tact

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said "Kramer, your grandmother died." The soldier fell apart. After he... read more..

06 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2639

<1min

Math Pun 1

Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round; cornbread R square.... read more..

06 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1986

<1min

Knowledge

The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" The boy replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."... read more..

06 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1310

<1min

Quote #1668

"We live in a world starved for solitude, silence, and privacy: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship." - C.S. Lewis read more..

06 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4382

<1min

Youngest in School

A friend of mine has three boys. The youngest, Gregory, had just started school. A teacher commented to Gregory that she couldn't believe he was already in first grade and asked what his mother did a... read more..

05 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1378

<1min

One-liner #1222

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.... read more..

03 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

934

<1min

Cybersalt News - September 3, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! My sermon from last Sunday is now on the Westside Bible Church website. When we are hungry we eat, when we are tired we sleep, but what should our response be to an experie... read more..

03 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1116

<1min

Wisdom Works

Wisdom expresses itself through works. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170903.mp3{/audio} read more..

If "All Things Are Possible," Why Can't I Balance My Checkbook?

02 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4468

4 min read

If "All Things Are Possible," Why Can't I Balance My Checkbook?

For me, the most terrible time of each month is the day our bank statement comes. We commonly call it BSS (Bank Statement Syndrome). I don't know why it is, but I have trouble getting the parsonage ch... read more..

02 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

11987

<1min

Boxing Pun

Boxers who are always on time, for their bouts are very punchual.... read more..

02 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1930

<1min

Pedigree

A stuffy old dowager was explaining to the Jewish florist how she wanted the flowers arranged at the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) meeting to celebrate the signing of the Declaration of I... read more..

02 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1781

<1min

Quote #1667

"Tolerance isn't about not having beliefs. It's about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you." - Timothy Keller read more..

02 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4361

<1min

Diamond Assumption

An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a diamond ring that had been in the family for several generations. The stone had never been appraised, so the fath... read more..

01 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1476

<1min

One-liner #1221

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn" ... stupid firemen.... read more..

31 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1036

<1min

Cybersalt News - August 31, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Heather P., who sent a bunch of chicken pictures. This one is of her daughter Kathleen with one of their flock - though to keep thi read more..

30 Aug

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3473

<1min

Irregular Organist

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed t... read more..

30 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3138

<1min

School Recommendation

When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors wer... read more..

30 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2016

<1min

Car Accident Honesty

A man was trying to pull out of a parking place but bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him. Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the dam... read more..