Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1934 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1200

Quote #1135

"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland read more..

Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2096

Fish Stories

Two ardent fishermen met on their vacation and began swapping stories about the different places they had fished, the kind of tackle used, the best bait, and finally about some of the fish they had ca... read more..

Sermons
Marcia Lee Laycock
1021

Your Journey with God

To bring us to the journey God has for us, He instructs, guides, teaches, and confides in us.  Each of these things - though sounding the same - are different. Listen Online:{audio}podca... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3078

Border Declaration

Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4123

Mom's Bath Note

Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end.  I am simply taking a bath.  It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water.  Yes, I know how to swim.... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3182

Shades of Tanning

Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that the protective shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye. Gazing at myself in the mirror the next ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1777

Assorted Puns Too Painful To Send Individually

Q. What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?A. Chocolate chimp cookies.Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?A. Bacon and legs.Q. What's a cat's favorite breakfast?A... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2357

Baby Name Puns

Baby name ideas, based on your occupation!PROFESSION.................................NAMELawyer's daughter.............................SueThief's son........................................RobLawyer's... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1722

Battle Re-enactment

Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event but the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1885

Bear Pun 1

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yello... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2175

Bear Pun 2

Three men came back from fishing one day, but when they got back to their truck, they saw it was surrounded by three bears. One of the men said, "OK, guys, I figure the only way we're gonna get back ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1836

Benny's Three Wishes

Benny worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. His primary job was to keep the exhibits clean and polished. One day he happened to be dusting around the Arabian exhibit, and he noticed an ancient urn... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1723

Biggest Knight

The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1647

Bird Brother

Said mother tern to baby, "as you have been so good, would you like a brother?" Said baby tern to mother, "Oh Yes! One good tern, deserves another."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2054

Bird Puns

Some of these are pretty bad.What birds spend all their time on their knees?Birds of prey.What do you call a very rude bird?A mockingbird.Where do birds meet for coffee?In a nest-cafe.What do you call... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1948

Bird-Hater

A bird-hater went to the beach with a pocket full of pebbles to throw at them.He left no tern unstoned.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2313

Bonds of Matrimony

“The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.”... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1499

Books To Read Pun

Books To ReadStrategic Defense in the Space Ageby Ray GunnManned Planetary Expeditions Vol. 1: Mercuryby Hugo FurstProjectile Motionby Fah LingThe Complete Do-It-Yourself Guide to Amateur Astronomyby ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4462

Borscht

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2431

Bovine Pun

What do you call a cow spying on another cow?- A steak out.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2989

Box Pun

On my 15th birthday, I opened a package from my mom and sister. Out came a beauty case containing samples of my very own makeup. "Oh, neat," my dad said excitedly, "a tackle box!" My mother and sist... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1742

Brain Problem

Scientists have finally figured out what is wrong with mankind. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - the left and the right. The left half has nothing right in it And the right half h... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2265

Breakdown Pun24

I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right i... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1682

Bridget Schuil

In days of yoreA god of warRode out upon his filly."I'm Thor," he criedAnd his horse replied"Well you forgot your thaddle, thilly."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2196

Budget

I've been working on my budget.Line one is my fixed expenses, line two is my fixed income and the difference is the fix I'm in.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1803

Buffalo 1

Back in the 1960s, one animal rights group was outraged that open season had been declared on the great American buffalo to help thin the herd in and near some of our national parks. They began herdin... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2051

Buffalo 2

Visitor: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos."Ranch Hand: "Not 'bunch' -- 'herd'."Visitor: "Heard what?"Ranch Hand: "Herd of buffalos."Visitor: "Sure, I've heard of buffalos. There's a big bunch ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3069

Bug Pun 2

One night, as Al was watching TV, the doorbell rang. He went to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar, threw him across the room, and then left. ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2163

Bull Pun 3

ave you heard about the five young bulls standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted to be when they grew up.The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull.The second said he w... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1974

Busy Button

I was shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous button that said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy."I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I... read more..