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Church.. it does a body good!

Sundays begins by leaving the morning paper behind, load up the family truckster with the FAM.. and begin that Time honored DRIVE to church. You can already sense God's spirit moving. 

It is truly the gathering of the saints and the aints and our congregation is more colorful than any box of shiny new crayons

And just because I am from Minnesota does not mean I don't know what DIVERSITY is. We worship with both Norwegians and Swedes.

My Church is that place to fellowship with friends, without any church club handshake.

We greet visitors with the love of God on our faces in in our hearts and NOT with lofty disapproving glances from any high and mighty illusion of our own righteousness. 
We don't claim to be perfect, and though 
there are a few wound too tight. with misguided intentions .. We are good folk.. 

Fellowship is important
, and my church is where the Spirit and Coffee both flow, but with the coffee flowing freely, there are risks.

Church is a place to be real because of God's grace.. BUT we sometimes instead choose to hide behind a Churcy Facade and ormask. .. and there are those BOBBLEHEADS

and it is important to note, my church is in Minnesota and until the state deals with the border problem, they will deal with..

cheeseheads for Jesus in their own way. 

My church is a comfortable place
 where ASLEEP IN CHRIST or as we call them 'Eutychus Moments' describes more than a few in the congregation. For a few cases we have used 'extreme exhortations' to encourage participation for a 90 minute service.

We are also 'blessed' with a few regular attenders that you would have to describe their faith as having a 'glorious absence of sophistication'. Growing up in rural Wisconsin I can relate and embrace what some may title as 'REDNECK' Believers - We don't handle NO SNAKES but that whole dress flannel shirt with a tie look I find appealing attire for Sunday mornings 12 months of the year.. thank you very much.

Along with the above mentioned high-tech 'keep a brother from sleeping' device, I must share we are high tech when it comes to tracking attendance and giving 

though some of the bretheren thought using a 'wand' to read bar codes was a bit Harry Potterish commenting this was clearly of the devil..

We are called to be a Holy People, though some are also holey. where not only our faith is contagious, but both our ushers and congregation have shared 'things' besides Jesus.

Our church is a house of Worship. Feel free to lift up holy hands to the Lord, or sit on your ample butt. Music ranges from traditional organ music to body surfing in the moshpit, . We even have a safe place for those of you who are worship impaired.

If you have kids.. we have a ready, and (mostly) willling Kids Ministry staff to love and care for your children so they do not have to sit in the church service with you.

Senior Citizens are welcome.. appreciated, respected, and assisted AGAIN by the wonder of technology.. can you hear me now?.. what?

We are a growing church in more ways than out waistline,
 and take serious the challenge of Overcrowding and traffic flow by the unconventional crowd control techniques of 
Leap FrogHell's Angels , and Body Surfing.

We offer Workshops membership classes, and participate in Church Unity conferences all with the goal of building a better Church body that is LOOKIN' GOOD , well read, enthusiastic, and sensitive to hear A WORD? from God.. or Bob? 

There are a number of great Women's Ministry opportunities. The Bible Study is the ENVY of the men, and the MOPS group is a great resource for mothers of preschoolers and NOT to be confused with theMOPSters at that church down the road.

Please realize we will be worshiping and praising God for a full 90 minutes each Sunday and we don't want to be catching any of your mind's wandering, or participating in the age old church clock watching sin.

And finally a statement about church. We appreciate the commitment of those in our church knowing our church is made up of good people and we are a family, BUT just like in every family we do not always get along perfectly, BUT just like a family our love and commitment to each other and the God we serve will not be shaken.

Note: Rest assured though some were pushing for it, there will be NO STONINGSin the Town Square for those caught sleeping in church.