God's Penman

The Reverend James L. Snyder is an award winning author whose writings have appeared in more than eighty periodicals including GUIDEPOSTS. In Pursuit of God: The Life of A. W. Tozer, Snyder?s first book, won the Reader?s Choice Award in 1992 by Christianity Today. Snyder has authored 8 books altogether.

Rev. James L. Snyder has a knack for making fun of daily frustrations and will increase your humor aptitude so you too can discover that life is less stressful when you?re laughing. Through these essays, you will realize that humor and religion belong together and that its OK to keep from taking yourself and others too seriously.

I have a friend, well actually, I have more than one friend but they are harder to count than the calories in my diet.

I will refrain from mentioning my friend's name, although I'm not sure why. If a person is going to be moronic, shouldn't the whole world know about it? I mean, for safety reasons, of course.

This particular friend has some very fantastic ideas about timepieces. Nothing adds more to manly attire than a good watch.

Personally, I go for function over form every time. The purpose of a watch, in my opinion, is to know just how late I am for my next meeting.

I think some men go for those expensive watches merely to impress people. As for me, I can be just as late for an important meeting with . . .

A great delight of being a minister is watching a relationship grow

into a wonderful romance. Often the pastor is the first to recognize the signs, even before the couple realizes it.

My wife and I play a little game to see which of us can predict how long it will take for a couple to realize they are a couple. My wife is better at this than I and to date I owe her $17 million.

Actually, the only romantic things about me are my ??love-handles,?? which is why I have spent so much energy developing them over the years.

It is not that men are less romantic than women are; they just have different ideas of romance.

For most women, romance is flowers and candy in heart-shaped boxes.

For men it is a Big Mac with fries and a soda ? and . . .
A man is not a man, in my opinion, unless he has adequately mastered the art of snoring. When I say mastered, I mean there is more to snoring than the mere act of making ze noise.

It is an ancient art form passed down from generation to generation, from father to son. It is the one thing men share in common and one of the few pleasures left in life that don't cost an arm and a leg.

Everything of late is too expensive, too fattening or too politically incorrect.

Once upon a time, a real man could enjoy the simple pleasures of life without any outside interference. Ah, for those good old days. Now, everybody and their tree-hugging cousin wants to tell me what I can and cannot do.

I have yet to understand how this simple practice of snoring can jeopardize the environment, but I was . . .
Last week my wife sent me to the mall on an errand. Normally I don't like going to the mall, especially by myself, but when my wife sends me, I submit to my husbandly duty.

Years ago when I joined her at the altar and said "I do," I did not realize at the time I would be "doing" such things. But I did and so I am.

Everything went well at the mall and I actually found what I was looking for. Success, I can tell you, is all it is cracked up to be. I then left the mall to go to my car. Much to my consternation, my car was nowhere to be found.

I must confess to being a bit absent-minded at times. Always on the lookout for sermon and column ideas, I sometimes am not aware of my immediate surroundings but this time my displaced car quickly brought me to my senses.

I knew I drove my car to the mall for here I was at the mall. There was no other way for . . .

The great American pastime is watching sports. Someone once described a football game as 30,000 people in desperate need of exercise watching 22 people in desperate need of rest.

No matter the sporting event, Americans love watching. We have become professional watchers. It surprises me someone has not gotten around to putting together a televised award show for professional watchers. We could all watch these people get awards for their watching prowess. I know I would watch.

Watching has become such a passion that we take everything this way - even daily exercise. This past week I awoke around three in the morning. For some reason I could not sleep, so I watched a little TV. To my surprise, several exercise programs were running. When I say running, I mean running.

Who in their right mind is up at this terrible hour watching exercising programs? I know I'm not in my right . . .

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