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More Jokes

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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Gnashing of Teeth

    A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course,…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    You Know You Are From Arizona When

    You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without…
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    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
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    Flossing

    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Miscellaneous Goobers

    GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they…
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    Weight Training

    My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me,…
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    Miscellaneous Ponderings

    A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I…
  • bible person

    Biblical Spokespersons

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the…

sports balls"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." 
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

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