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  • A picture of genetically modified corn

    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
  • olive oil

    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    10 Puns

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it…
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    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
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    Two Kids

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Fair Trial

    A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,"Before I begin this trial, I…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
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    One and Ten

    Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt…
  • picture of a grandfather

    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Overdrawn

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…

sports balls"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." 
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

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