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    It's Not A Cat

    It's not a cat it's...A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.A wildlife control…
  • parrot

    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    Computer Career

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…
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    You know you're growing old when..

    You know you're growing old when..You've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
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    Little Johnny Tested

    The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
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    Pearl Dream

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
  • police pull over

    Speedy Comeback

    The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his…
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    The Grandma Test

    I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the…
  • parrot

    Parrot Dream Fulfilled

    A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large…

sports balls"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." 
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

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