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More Jokes

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    Work Virus

    There is a new virus going around, called "work". If you receive any sort of "work" at…
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    Cursing Parrot

    Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad…
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    Official ID Card

    My husband, a U.S. Coast Guard pilot, was on an exchange tour with the Royal Navy in…
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    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Meet Me For Lunch

    The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining…
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    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
  • class2

    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    Military Inspection

    The colonel who served as inspector general in our command paid particular attention to…
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    Signs of E-Mail Addiction

    1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way…
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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
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    Calls to Information Assistance

    Just a few decades ago, before the days of Google and online information, people would…
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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…

sports balls"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." 
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

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