logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
  • Default Image

    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
  • Default Image

    Goober on the Loose

    Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but…
  • Default Image

    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
  • Default Image

    Hooked Shot

    Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot…
  • Default Image

    Old Dodge

    A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was…
  • Default Image

    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
  • Default Image

    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
  • Default Image

    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…
  • gas cap

    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
  • Default Image

    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
  • Default Image

    Late For Class

    At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was…
  • Default Image

    Seen in the Cafeteria

    At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He…
  • lemon

    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
  • Default Image

    Award Shows

    Can you believe how many award shows they have now? It seems like that have an award show…

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
Examples: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots & Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
Examples are: Spinach & Pistachio Ice Cream; Mushrooms & Mashed Potatoes.

10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We all know how calories like to cling!!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.

Powered By JFBConnect