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More Jokes

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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    House Call

    Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house.…
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    Apology Letter

    Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer…
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    Super Golfball

    Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Double Talking Dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient."Good…
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    In the Dorm

    In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    Wedding Blessing

    At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final…
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    Resume Blunders

    How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples: "My…
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    Thoughts On Genealogy

    *Thoughts On Genealogy*~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Ooops in the Forest

    Two hikers were walking through some foothills when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in…
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
....  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
....  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.
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