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More Jokes

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    In Charge

    One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting.…
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    Future Price of Roses

    The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to…
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    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
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    Potential Company Mergers

    Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs Fairchild Electronics and…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
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    Sermon Follow-Up

    A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To…
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    Where's The Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come…
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
....  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
....  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.
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