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More Jokes

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    "Not" Working

    Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown,…
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    Love Campaign

    The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite…
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    Stain Glass

    An area pastor tells of his first Sunday in the new parish and presenting the children's…
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    Putting the Cat Out

    A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the…
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    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
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    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…
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    Changing Plates

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    With Friends Like That...

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    What A Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
....  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
....  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.
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