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More Jokes

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    Talking Horse

    A jogger, running down a country road, is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey! Come…
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    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…
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    Beef Prices

    It's a summer holiday weekend and a man walks into a butcher shop which has a sign in the…
  • winter

    Winter in Wisconsin

    It's winter in WisconsinAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hourAt 52 below! Oh, how…
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    Anesthesiologist Bill

    Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to…
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    Great Writing

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great…
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    Loudest Band

    For two years I managed a group of musicians who proudly labeled themselves "the loudest…
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    Seat Sacrifice

    On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that…
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    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
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    One Call

    The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…
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    Why Are You Here?

    A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's…
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    Let's Play House

    A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
....  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
....  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.
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