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More Jokes

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    How Gevernment Works

    Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Cops and Robbers

    Esther Cohen had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work

    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work...- You've read the entire Dilbert…
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    Takes One To Know One

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Strange 911 Calls

    *Strange 911 Calls*A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share…
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    Lost Turnabout

    Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the…
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    Art Collector

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
  • Hiccup Joke

    Hiccups Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine.  These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D.  dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

  • "It has long been known"...  I didn't look up the original reference.
  • "A definite trend is evident"...  These data are practically meaningless.
  • "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...  An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
  • "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...  The other results didn't make any sense.
  • "Typical results are shown"...  This is the prettiest graph.
  • "These results will be in a subsequent report"...  I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  • "In my experience"...  once "In case after case"...  twice "In a series of cases"...  thrice "It is believed that"...  I think.
  • "It is generally believed that"...  A couple of others think so, too.
  • "Correct within an order of magnitude"...  Wrong.
  • "According to statistical analysis"...  Rumor has it.
  • "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...  A wild guess.
  • "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...  Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
  • "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...  I don't understand it.
  • "After additional study by my colleagues"...  They don't understand it either.
  • "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"...  Mr.  Blotz did the work and Ms.  Adams explained to me what it meant.
  • "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...  A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
  • "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...  I quit.
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