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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Last Words Heard

    3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all…
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    Politically Correct Statements

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    Kid Comments

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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

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    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
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    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
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    Election Poetry

    In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great…
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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
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    2 Sunday School Lessons

    *Sunday School Lesson #1*A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some…
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    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
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    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Fishing Mirror

    A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine.  These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D.  dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

  • "It has long been known"...  I didn't look up the original reference.
  • "A definite trend is evident"...  These data are practically meaningless.
  • "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...  An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
  • "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...  The other results didn't make any sense.
  • "Typical results are shown"...  This is the prettiest graph.
  • "These results will be in a subsequent report"...  I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  • "In my experience"...  once "In case after case"...  twice "In a series of cases"...  thrice "It is believed that"...  I think.
  • "It is generally believed that"...  A couple of others think so, too.
  • "Correct within an order of magnitude"...  Wrong.
  • "According to statistical analysis"...  Rumor has it.
  • "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...  A wild guess.
  • "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...  Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
  • "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...  I don't understand it.
  • "After additional study by my colleagues"...  They don't understand it either.
  • "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"...  Mr.  Blotz did the work and Ms.  Adams explained to me what it meant.
  • "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...  A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
  • "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...  I quit.
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