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More Jokes

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    A Letter From College

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    Headstones

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    Martha's Way Vs My Way

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    Van Problem

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    No Pets Allowed

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    Making Babies

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    Prescription Change

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
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    Bus Fare

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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
  • church in the country

    Save Me a Seat

    A friend of mine, and her husband, were on vacation. They visited a church on Sunday. My…
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    Amazed dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    More Musings

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged…

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine.  These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D.  dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

  • "It has long been known"...  I didn't look up the original reference.
  • "A definite trend is evident"...  These data are practically meaningless.
  • "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions"...  An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
  • "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study"...  The other results didn't make any sense.
  • "Typical results are shown"...  This is the prettiest graph.
  • "These results will be in a subsequent report"...  I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
  • "In my experience"...  once "In case after case"...  twice "In a series of cases"...  thrice "It is believed that"...  I think.
  • "It is generally believed that"...  A couple of others think so, too.
  • "Correct within an order of magnitude"...  Wrong.
  • "According to statistical analysis"...  Rumor has it.
  • "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings"...  A wild guess.
  • "A careful analysis of obtainable data"...  Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
  • "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"...  I don't understand it.
  • "After additional study by my colleagues"...  They don't understand it either.
  • "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions"...  Mr.  Blotz did the work and Ms.  Adams explained to me what it meant.
  • "A highly significant area for exploratory study"...  A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
  • "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field"...  I quit.
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