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More Jokes

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    Happy Birthday Grandpa

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    One Parachute

    You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How…
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    Things Dogs Should Try to Remember

    Things dogs should try to remember: The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even…
  • stork

    How Was I Born?

    A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well,…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
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    Mike's Girlfriend

    After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him --…
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    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
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    Remember When

    An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to…
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    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
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    Aging

    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    30 Minutes To A Cleaner House

    *30 Minutes To A Cleaner House* You're getting company in 30 minutes. Your house is a…
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    Making Up For Lost Time

    An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather…

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries. Can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?"

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Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide, it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone socket on the wall."

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RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."

Operator: "I'm sorry, but there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar, but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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