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More Jokes

  • nuts

    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
  • loveyou

    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
  • Default Image

    How To Train A Cat

    Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of…
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    Pay Mistakes

    One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
  • newspaper2

    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
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    Carpenter Request

    While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself…
  • picture of a doily

    Doily Box

    As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Soup Words

    It was a formal banquet. The minister had just finished saying grace when a waiter…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    Appendix Worry

    Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries. Can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre."

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours."

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?"

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Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide, it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone socket on the wall."

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RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."

Operator: "I'm sorry, but there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar, but the 'B' fell off."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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