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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation

    Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship…
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    Things Mom Doesn't Want To Hear

    "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"1. I swallowed the goldfish.2. Your…
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    Traffice Warning

    As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local…
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    Dog Sweater

    In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog.The…
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    Reading Glasses

    I took my 5 year old grandson to the optometrist to pick up his new glasses. The glasses…
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    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
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    Leaving the Farm

    A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
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    Soap and Water

    A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt…
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    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
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    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
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    One Rifle Hunting

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Goober Jokes Galore!

    What do you call an eternity? Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop. Why do…
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    IRS Audit

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to…
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    All Roads Lead Back to Rome

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.…

classroom*  "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."

*  "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.  He said his brain was too tired of spelling."

*  "Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend.  He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment."

*  "Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late.  If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time."

*  "Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting."

*  "It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night.  His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home."

*  "Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."

*  "Diane was late on Wednesday.  She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."

*  "Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM."

*  "Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday."

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