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    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
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    Light Confusion

    A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation. His mother, sitting in the…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Circle Stand

    Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
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    Busy Mom

    My busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and pans on the stove with the burners…
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    The Chief's Wife

    "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol,…
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    2 Words

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Lab Mix

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make…
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    New Golfer

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    All Purpose Excuse Form

    Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…

classroom*  "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."

*  "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.  He said his brain was too tired of spelling."

*  "Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend.  He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment."

*  "Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late.  If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time."

*  "Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting."

*  "It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night.  His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home."

*  "Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."

*  "Diane was late on Wednesday.  She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."

*  "Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM."

*  "Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday."

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