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More Jokes

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    Needled

    At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going…
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    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation

    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday…
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    Shovel Need

    One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have…
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    62nd Birthday

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
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    Q & A

    Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in…
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    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her…
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    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
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    Texas Vacation

    A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
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    Rabbi Sneak

    There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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