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More Jokes

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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Mommy Test

    I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Lost Hunting

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they…
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    Vet Bills

    While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    Trooper Delivery

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
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    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    Tonsils

    A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his…
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    Cat T-Shirts

    If cats wore t-shirts, here is what they might say. "Purrfection cannot be improved" "If…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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