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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…
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    Blind Pilots

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Drug Store Questions

    Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married.…
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    The Front Pew

    An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at…
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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    You're No Longer A Kid When…

    You're No Longer A Kid When...- Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.- You have…
  • woman desk

    The Importance of Correct Punctuation

    We've all been told how important it is to use correct punctuation. Well, here is a…
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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Historical Application

    Steinberg needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications to…
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    Getting Closer

    Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit.…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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