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More Jokes

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    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
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    Face Warning

    Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped…
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    Crossing the Road

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Ten Minute Wait

    I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Second Opinion 2

    A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Strange Problem

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day."Doc, there's something…
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    Lobster Pets

    After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two…
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    Eye Problems

    "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician…
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    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…
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    12 Days of Fastfood

    On the first day of Christmas,My drive through gave to me:A Big Bacon Classic with…

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection.  However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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