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More Jokes

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    Johnny's Dust

    After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away.…
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    Raffle Toy

    Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have…
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    Football Tryouts

    A football coach was asked how he picked a team from a bunch of raw recruits. "I hate to…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Work Confusion

    A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.The man was…
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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #2

    C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
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    Self-Evident Truths About Pets

    *Self-Evident Truths About Pets** Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they…
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    Car Moving

    It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the…
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    Back In Office

    When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a…
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    The Upper Hand

    A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    28 Ounce Water Pump

    A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump."A what?" says…

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

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