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More Jokes

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    Planting Time

    A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some…
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    Loudest Band

    For two years I managed a group of musicians who proudly labeled themselves "the loudest…
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    Goober in Snow Storm

    A goober got lost in her car in a New England snow storm. She remembered what her dad had…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Key West Tourists

    I was a salesman and always wore a shirt and tie which made me stand out in Key West.…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Perfectly Made

    When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds…
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    Bonus

    Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.Faced with hard times, the…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Hashing It Out

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a…
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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
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    Miscellaneous Ponderings

    A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I…

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

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