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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Heartfelt

    Jimmy was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Chair Test

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Boy Scout Tips

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the…
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    Kiss Good-bye

    "Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
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    Charity Better than Expected

    Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were…
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    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

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