logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Actual Signs

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

More Jokes

  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
  • girl3

    White Hairs

    One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen…
  • paper pen

    14 Letters

    Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence…
  • Default Image

    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
  • Default Image

    Salt Lake vs. Denver

    I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the…
  • Default Image

    Australian Military Helicopter Simulation

    This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related…
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
  • Default Image

    Y1K Problem

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
  • Default Image

    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
  • Default Image

    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
  • money stack

    AMAP

    The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I…
  • office write

    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
  • Default Image

    The Night of Tax Day

    Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,Every creature was whirring, even the…
  • Default Image

    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…