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    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
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    Employment Search

    My employment search preoccupied our family for months. One day my husband told our three…
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    Silent Monastery

    Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is…
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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
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    Next Pastor

    Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and…
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    Thanks Mom

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…
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    How Business Communications Work

    How Business Communications WorkMEMORANDUMFrom: Headquarters - New YorkTo: General…
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    Coffee Choices

    In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to…
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    Letter Pride

    One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why,…
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    Seen This?

    I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Songs For People Over 40

    *Top 10 Songs for People Over 40* 10. Let's Get a Physical 9. Ain't No Burrito Mild…

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals.  If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

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