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More Jokes

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    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
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    Turn Around

    A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.They thoughtfully made a…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    Boat Rental

    A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost…
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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something to cure…
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    Live to 100

    When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of…
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    Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor

    *Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor** The patient before you was a goat.* Instead…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
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    Movie Breakout

    A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he…
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    Back In Office

    When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a…
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    Resume Examples

    These are real examples from real resumes:*Reasons For Leaving Last Job*- Responsibility…
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    Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Computer Hacker

    10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.9. He's won the…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
*Actual Warnings On Products*

On instructions for a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
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