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More Jokes

  • picture of a football

    Football Tryouts

    A football coach was asked how he picked a team from a bunch of raw recruits. "I hate to…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
  • boy

    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    More One-liners

    I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
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    Corporate Change

    When the company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, I told my staff to…
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    Are You The Defendant?

    The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?""No sir,…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    Someone At The Door

    A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
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    Denture Feedback

    A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
  • chocolate

    Chocolate Laughs

    Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The…
*Actual Warnings On Products*

On instructions for a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
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