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More Jokes

  • movie seats

    Movie Critic

    I overheard two children discussing their selection in the video area of a store. One boy…
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    Summer Plans

    Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a…
  • car w driver2

    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Enemies in the West

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober lady…
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    Early

    Ok, what is the deal with "The early bird gets the worm"? He gets up early, and all he…
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    Who's The Expert?

    On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars…
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    Jonah Test

    A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School…
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    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Graduation Speech Notes

    When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from…
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    Foot Snuggle

    On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching…
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    Job Impressions

    I had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always…
*Actual Warnings On Products*

On instructions for a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
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