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More Jokes

  • shopping3

    Divider Return

    I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Surgeon Feedback

    Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to carve the meat -- or worse yet, to…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
  • Default Image

    First Job Hunting

    Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an…
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    Paid For Standing

    The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking…
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    Tycoon Banter

    A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    Fate

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…
  • Amish Law

    Amish Law

    An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed…
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    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
*Actual Warnings On Products*

On instructions for a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial bath bar:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a frozen dinner package:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging from a Rowenta Iron.
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a bottle of Nytol (a sleeping aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines package of nuts:
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a package of Sunmaid raisins:
Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?
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