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More Jokes

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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Art That Sells

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings…
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    Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

    Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...20. You know, when you build your…
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    Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

    - The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. - The…
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    Chow

    "Chow looks wonderful," I told the mess sergeant, a large, intimidating man. "I'd love…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Fly Problem

    My husband is a doctor, and he received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly…
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    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober lady…
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    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…

Add Some Fun To Life

  • Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
  • Page yourself over the intercom.  (Don't disguise your voice.)
  • Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom.  When people complain that there was nothing there, lean, back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
  • While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  • Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
  • Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  • Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  • When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
  • Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area.  Insist to others that you like it that way.
  • Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
  • Honk and wave at strangers.
  • TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
  • type only in lowercase.
  • Go around saying "What?_ Never mind._ It's gone now."
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
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