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More Jokes

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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    Geese V

    Q: Why is one side of the V geese make always shorter than the other? ........... A:…
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    Subway Drop

    The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most…
  • A joke about a boss's speech that goes too long.

    Blah Blah Blah

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his…
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    Computer Dating

    A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications.…
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    Checking Out

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…

Add Some Fun To Life

  • Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
  • Page yourself over the intercom.  (Don't disguise your voice.)
  • Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom.  When people complain that there was nothing there, lean, back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
  • While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  • Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
  • Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  • Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  • When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
  • Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area.  Insist to others that you like it that way.
  • Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
  • Honk and wave at strangers.
  • TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
  • type only in lowercase.
  • Go around saying "What?_ Never mind._ It's gone now."
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
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