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More Jokes

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    Some Great Malapropisms...

    "I don't want anybody stepping on anyone else's thunder.""You can't pull the sheep over…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Honeymoon Toast

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Did You See That?

    Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?" "No," Darryl…
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    Encyclopaedia Set for Sale

    FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica.Excellent Condition.$1200 or…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Looking Funny

    According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money…
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    Shy Visit To The Dentist

    A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up. The…
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    Mrs. Pierpoint

    A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door.…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
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    Life After Death

    "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir."…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…

Add Some Fun To Life

  • Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
  • Page yourself over the intercom.  (Don't disguise your voice.)
  • Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom.  When people complain that there was nothing there, lean, back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
  • While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  • Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
  • Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  • Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  • When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
  • Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area.  Insist to others that you like it that way.
  • Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
  • Honk and wave at strangers.
  • TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
  • type only in lowercase.
  • Go around saying "What?_ Never mind._ It's gone now."
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
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