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    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
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    Senior's Ode to Medication

    A row of bottles on my shelfcaused me to analyze myself.One yellow pill I have to popGoes…
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    New Boots

    My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The…
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    Cleaning Instructions

    I bought a great new toilet seat recently.On the label was a suggestion on how to clean…
  • car w driver2

    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Learned in Yale

    A wealthy contractor liked to know something about all the employees who worked for him.…
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    Marriage Proposal

    Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor…
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    The Night Before Y2K

    'Twas the night before New Year,and all through the nation,We awaited Y2K,the millennium…
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    Impressions

    A man commissioned Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
  • Picture of Couple Standing

    Marriage Counselling

    A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of…
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    Its On The Way

    A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any…
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    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
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    Goobers With Shovels

    There were two guys working for the city. One would did a hole, he would dig, dig, dig,…
  • guitar bumper sticker

    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…

*Advertising Terms Explained*

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as anything!

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

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