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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…
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    Trouble At The Zoo

    Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at…
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    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Name Warning

    On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver."Not only have…
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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…
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    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation

    Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday…
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    Broken Bone

    While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a…
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    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    Arizona Rain

    A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes,…
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    Getting Out

    During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through…

*Advertising Terms Explained*

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as anything!

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

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