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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…
  • hawaiian church

    Comments Never Heard at Church

    1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed…
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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
  • horse stable

    Animal Race Stats

    Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track…
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    Rules for Editing

    Some of you have noticed a few typos in the CleanLaugh list now and then. To improve this…
  • loveyou

    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
  • bear

    I Want To Be A Bear

    I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    Doctor Mistake

    During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a…
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    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…
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    Child Perspective on Retirement

    A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the…

*Advertising Terms Explained*

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as anything!

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

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