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More Jokes

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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Tongue and Eggs

    A fellow went into a restaurant and asked, 'What's the special of the day?' The waiter…
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    Golf Hole

    A young minister and Mr. Sims, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's…
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    TV News

    A chicken crosses the road. Here's how some of the media covers it.Here's our trusty NBC…
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    Ol' Spot

    A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
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    One-Liners

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Nothing in the known universe…
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    Farming Dream

    The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a prospective student,…
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    Baby Wrap

    Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Time Off

    Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Golfer's Tale

    A group of golfers were telling tall stories. At last came a veteran's turn. "Well," he…

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down

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