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More Jokes

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    Army Fib

    While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old…
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    Fair Trial

    A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,"Before I begin this trial, I…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    1 in 5

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,…
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    How Hot Is It?

    How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The…
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    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Tongue and Eggs

    A fellow went into a restaurant and asked, 'What's the special of the day?' The waiter…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down

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