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More Jokes

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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
  • baptism

    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
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    Doctor News

    A doctor walked into his office where one of his patients was sitting. The doctor told…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
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    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
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    100GB bug

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down

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