logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Aging

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
  • picture of letters

    How To Speak English Properly

    *How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are…
  • Default Image

    Day Of Mourning

    In response and reaction to today's events in New York City, all Cybersalt.org e-mail…
  • Default Image

    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of "yes/no"…
  • Default Image

    A Diet For Dealing With Stress

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. If you drink a…
  • Default Image

    What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his…
  • Default Image

    Top Ten Toys You May Have Trouble Finding This Year

    10. Sister's Dollhouse and Night Vision Ninja Assassin 9. Tuba Hero - World Tour8. Low…
  • Default Image

    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
  • Default Image

    For Charlotte

    A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is…
  • Default Image

    Lariat Training

    More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to…
  • Default Image

    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
  • Default Image

    Rustic Dining

    As a trail guide in a national park, Danny ate with the rest of the seasonal staff in a…
  • Default Image

    Rabbi Schwartz Answers His Phone

    "Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can." "Do…
  • Default Image

    Goober on the Loose

    Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but…
  • A woman keeps her promise to send money with her deceased husband.

    Sending it With Him

    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a…