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More Jokes

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    Denture Feedback

    A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set…
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    Family Cleaning

    Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed…
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    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
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    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Sibling Takings

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    Guard Dog Sniff

    My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard…
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    More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial…
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    Call Me Leroy

    Uncle Leroy got a job down at the broom factory. On his first day the straw boss (floor…
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    Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Get-Well Gift

    My wife coordinates get-well gifts for our church members who are in the hospital.…
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    Brightness In Action

    *I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the…
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    Grasshopper in Bar

    A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink. The bartender…
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    The Difference of a Year

    Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first…
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    Ticket Purchase

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down

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