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    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…
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    Goober Love Poem

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    I Didn't Feel Quite Right

    Thought I'd let my doctor check me,'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .All those aches…
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    Gate Boarding

    At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement…
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    Biggest Lie

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    I've Got Shingles

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    In A Few Moments

    So far today, Lord, I've done all right; I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper,…
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    Referrals

    When our local doctor began attending church services the minister was delighted, and it…
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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Bus Fare

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train…
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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…
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    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
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    Goober Interview

    The executive was interviewing a goober for a position in his company.He wanted to find…
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    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…
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    Two Plus Two

    A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer…

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!"

The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island."

There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get out of here."

As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally his wife turned to him. "You're angry about something."

"Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island? You goober! Don't you know the No. 5 bus doesn't go out to Coney Island?"

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