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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
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    Turkey Poem

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    The Hokey Pokey

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    Missed Cues

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    When I Was Your Age

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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
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    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Little Bars of Soap

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    Nutritious Eating

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    CD Entrance

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…

It was the beginning of December.  The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back.  The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.

Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.

Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe.  Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and "pointier" parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.

With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."

"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
(pause)

"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."

"That's not why it's there."
(pause)

"Ok, I give up.  Why is it there?"

"It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."

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