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More Jokes

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    Don't Have Any

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…
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    Computer Cup Holder

    A friend of mine was on the phone with a tech rep from another company. That tech rep…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
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    Goober Compensation

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    The Mayor's Burden

    One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who…
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    What a Teacher Means

    What a teacher says and what he/she really means.1. Your son has a remarkable ability in…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Thanks Mom

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    E-Mail Blessing

    E-Mail BlessingPeace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.May…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters:

1.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a goober.

3.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

7.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

8.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

9.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

10.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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