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    This Town is so Small...

    This town is so small . . .- The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
  • picture of old speedometer

    Missing Car Parts

    A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is…
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    Fishing Advice

    Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another…
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    Bell Call

    The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take…
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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Free to Go

    Jon and Amanpreet were in an institution. This place had an annual contest where they…
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    Goober Baby News

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Coffee Cool

    I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
  • university building

    Evaluation Excerpts

    These are actual excerpts from college course evaluation forms: 1. "The textbook is…
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    Aging

    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
  • dog scotty

    Guard Dog Karate

    A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed,…

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters:

1.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a goober.

3.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

7.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

8.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

9.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

10.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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