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More Jokes

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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…
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    Great Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Bible Answer

    A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible…
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    Military Man

    A career military man, who had retired as a Master Sergeant, was telling the new recruits…
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    Out of Gas Options

    The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
  • businessman blamed for long speech

    20 Minutes of Eternity

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his…
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    Silly Q&A

    Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right…
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    Mr. Sugarbrown's Daughter

    A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."…
  • child2

    Light Confusion

    A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation. His mother, sitting in the…
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    Next Question

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters:

1.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a goober.

3.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

7.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

8.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

9.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

10.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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