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    Missed Bus

    The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her…
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    Soup Solution

    Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should…
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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
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    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…
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    Doctor Mistake

    During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a…
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    Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
  • father's day triplets

    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
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    Babysitting

    With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge of our three energetic…
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…
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    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Shoe Repair

    Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    Singing Practice

    Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she…
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    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like…

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters:

1.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a goober.

3.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

7.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

8.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

9.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

10.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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