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More Jokes

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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…
  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Cross Country Move

    When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our…
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    Re-Gifting

    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
  • a picture of newspapers

    Headlines from 2050

    *Headlines from 2050* Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten…
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    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…
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    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
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    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters:

1.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a goober.

3.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

6.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

7.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

8.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

9.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

10.  Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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