logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Tub Baptism

    A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church.…
  • mom and child

    Please and Thank You

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
  • Default Image

    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
  • Default Image

    The End of Speeding?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
  • Default Image

    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
  • Default Image

    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
  • Default Image

    "Dilbert Quote" Contest

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to…
  • Default Image

    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
  • Default Image

    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
  • Default Image

    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
  • Default Image

    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
  • Default Image

    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
  • Default Image

    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
  • Default Image

    Delete Button

    Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My…

Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten yourself into. Where there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and just go with it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be if you just let your instincts guide you!

Dear

a) Mom,

b) Dad,

c) love of my life,

d) Assistant Principal,

e) Local Police Chief,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your

a) car

b) house

c) pet

d) espresso maker

e) left arm

was severely damaged by my

a) infantile

b) puerile

c) inept

d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic

e) woefully under appreciated prank

How could I have known that the

a) car

b) jet ski

c) large helium balloon

d) rodent driven sledge

e) Zamboni

I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your

a) house,

b) wife,

c) Cub Scout troop,

d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with light bulb in the torch,

e) priceless collection of antique knitting needles,

you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to

a) imagine,

b) fathom,

c) comprehend,

d) appreciate,

e) pay for,

and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to

a) hate me,

b) sue me,

c) spank me,

d) take my firstborn,

e) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond,

but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at

a) school

b) work

c) church

d) the bowling alley

e) the municipal jail

and to remember that I am first and foremost your

a) friend

b) child

c) sibling

d) lease co-signer

e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant.

I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that

a) was so stupid.

b) was so silly.

c) would have been funny if it worked.

d) you would have done, if you had thought of it first.

e) I'm going to use again on someone else.

Sincerely,

Enter name here (or alias): ________________________

Powered By JFBConnect