logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Miracle Cure

    Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a waiting room full of…
  • Default Image

    Escaped Puppy

    I live across the street from a church. When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard…
  • Default Image

    Biblical Endorsements

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as product endorsers? For Match.com -…
  • Default Image

    Accident and Interview

    Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off…
  • Default Image

    Lion Attack

    Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both…
  • Default Image

    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
  • Default Image

    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
  • father and children

    New Survivor

    Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? Here's the details: - 6 Married…
  • Default Image

    Stolen Goat

    The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the…
  • Default Image

    More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial…
  • Default Image

    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
  • Default Image

    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
  • tail light2

    Tail Light

    "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The…
  • Default Image

    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
  • Default Image

    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Powered By JFBConnect