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    Happy Birthday Grandpa

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
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    Overheard At The Cemetery

    These two boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree. Out of sight, they…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Taxing Sleeps

    A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets)…
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    New Flavor?

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
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    Dog House Rules Progression

    1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built…
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    Harmonica Gift

    Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said to his Uncle…
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    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
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    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…

Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw their weapons.

One says: "Don't MOVE, or I'll fill you full of 98% Lead, 1% Antimony, 0.98% Cobalt, and 0.02% elements below their detection levels!"

The other one says: "HOLD on there, cowboy. Are those values CERTIFIED??"

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