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More Jokes

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    Understanding Your Paycheck

    Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Shoe Follow

    Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
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    High Blood Pressure

    A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic…
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    Bus Fare

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Sore Mover

    Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
  • A joke about a boss's speech that goes too long.

    Blah Blah Blah

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his…
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    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    AMAP

    The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I…
  • new years_eve

    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…

Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw their weapons.

One says: "Don't MOVE, or I'll fill you full of 98% Lead, 1% Antimony, 0.98% Cobalt, and 0.02% elements below their detection levels!"

The other one says: "HOLD on there, cowboy. Are those values CERTIFIED??"

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