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More Jokes

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    Lodge Meeting

    The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left.She…
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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Rich Guy

    One day a rich man drives pass a open field and he sees a guy standing there eating grass…
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    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    Hostage Situation

    Do you know anyone in your office like this?At the data-entry company where I work, the…
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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 2

    6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss…
  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Where's The Beef

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
  • pig

    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…
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    Y1K

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
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    Heavy Housework

    Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning…

Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...

20. You know, when you build your next house you might want to consider using steel instead of wood.

19. It's a shame you didn't get that extended protection rider on your pest protection policy.

18. I'm sorry, but our worker's compensation policy specifically excludes "killer termites."

17. Do you know anyone who owns a bulldozer?

16. You'll need to call the Jurassic Park people. Dinosaurs aren't on the list of pest problems we handle.

15. Yeah, I realize I'm from Orkin, but I still need your phone book to call Terminix and All-Pest to come help me with this one.

14. I need to go back to the office to get a bigger truck.

13. Do you have someplace you could stay for the next three days?

12. Do you have a high powered rifle handy?

11. You wouldn't happen to have some extra pesticides in storage around the house, would you?

10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8. "The good news is... you have termites."

7. "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6. "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3. "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2. "This could get expensive."

1. "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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