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More Jokes

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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Home For The Holidays

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    Prescription Worries

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Dad Value

    A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Mom Wonder

    A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. She said, "We used…
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    Service for One

    On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown…
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    Skeleton in the Closet

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
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    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
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    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
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    Bubba's Friends

    Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just…
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    Government Pipe Specifications

    1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around…
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    Intelligence

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…

Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...

20. You know, when you build your next house you might want to consider using steel instead of wood.

19. It's a shame you didn't get that extended protection rider on your pest protection policy.

18. I'm sorry, but our worker's compensation policy specifically excludes "killer termites."

17. Do you know anyone who owns a bulldozer?

16. You'll need to call the Jurassic Park people. Dinosaurs aren't on the list of pest problems we handle.

15. Yeah, I realize I'm from Orkin, but I still need your phone book to call Terminix and All-Pest to come help me with this one.

14. I need to go back to the office to get a bigger truck.

13. Do you have someplace you could stay for the next three days?

12. Do you have a high powered rifle handy?

11. You wouldn't happen to have some extra pesticides in storage around the house, would you?

10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8. "The good news is... you have termites."

7. "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6. "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3. "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2. "This could get expensive."

1. "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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