logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
  • Default Image

    Gated Community

    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both…
  • Default Image

    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
  • Default Image

    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
  • County Chairmen

    County Chairmen

    Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
  • Default Image

    Restroom Bugs

    I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the…
  • Default Image

    New Light Switch

    My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master…
  • Default Image

    A Few Shelves

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Pants Dilemma

    A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
  • Default Image

    Boring Flight

    Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the sleeping man…
  • Default Image

    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
  • Default Image

    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
  • Default Image

    New Diet

    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes…
  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…

***-- VIRUS WARNING --***

Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is extremely serious.? Please read very carefully and take care!
If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it immediately.? Do not open it!? Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk.
It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs of infection.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!

--------- Thanks to Bill Gates and a small child with kidney failure for sending that in.? If you pass this to at least 5 friends within the next three minutes Bill will give the kid a free copy of Windows
98

Powered By JFBConnect