logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Another Virus Warning

***-- VIRUS WARNING --***

Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is extremely serious.? Please read very carefully and take care!
If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it immediately.? Do not open it!? Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk.
It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs of infection.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!

--------- Thanks to Bill Gates and a small child with kidney failure for sending that in.? If you pass this to at least 5 friends within the next three minutes Bill will give the kid a free copy of Windows
98

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • woman old3

    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
  • Map of the USA

    Know Your States

    The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
  • Default Image

    Taa-Daa!

    A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him…
  • snails

    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…
  • Default Image

    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
  • Default Image

    Away From His Desk

    As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all…
  • Default Image

    Dining In

    My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.Recently, when we were having a…
  • Default Image

    Unsubscribe Directions

    To Unsubscribe From The CleanLaugh ListThough I know you all enjoy being on this list,…
  • woman old4

    Mrs. Pierpoint

    A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door.…
  • Default Image

    Haircut Plan

    I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be…
  • Default Image

    I Hope I'm Sick

    A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often,…
  • woman

    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
  • Default Image

    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
  • cooking with gas

    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
  • Default Image

    Gift Mug

    I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a…