logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Choking Fee

    When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that…
  • Default Image

    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
  • Default Image

    Watch This

    A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet…
  • Default Image

    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
  • Default Image

    Puppy Power

    Officer Roland, near the end of his shift, noticed a woman driving a small pickup truck…
  • Default Image

    Economics Exam

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
  • Default Image

    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
  • Default Image

    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
  • Default Image

    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…
  • Default Image

    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
  • Default Image

    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
  • Default Image

    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
  • Default Image

    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
  • Default Image

    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
  • Default Image

    Kids View of Science

    *Kid's View of Science*Q: What is one horsepower?A: One horsepower is the amount of…

*Answering Machine Messages*

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my Financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

If you are a burglar, then we're probably home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Powered By JFBConnect