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    Rolls-Royce Loaner

    When I arrived at a friend's home for a party, my old rattletrap looked pretty shabby…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    Pole Power

    I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company…
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    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…
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    Dad's Pay Check

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm OK,…
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    Bathroom Sign

    Thanks to Norma K. Appel for sending today's CleanLaugh. Dear Pastor Tim, this is a true…
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    Exam Assistance

    In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not…
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    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    Tree Faller

    While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a…
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    Cruise Questions

    Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship - Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the…
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    All You Can Drink

    There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that…
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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…

The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!

Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?

Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!

To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...

Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again…

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