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More Jokes

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    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…
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    Dog Review

    A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and…
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    Car Names Explained

    "Car Names Explained"(My car is in here so don't be offended if yours is too!)AUDI -…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Turtle Ears

    Tradition here in the office is to keep a notepad with the punch lines from the various…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
  • golf bag

    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Good Guess

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
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    Better Preacher

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
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    Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric

    If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the…
  • knee bones

    Sore Knee

    Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so…
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    Ashes

    Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey…

The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!

Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?

Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!

To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...

Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again…

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