logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    New Flavor?

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
  • fishing1

    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
  • Default Image

    Who's the Boss?

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any…
  • Default Image

    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
  • Default Image

    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
  • Default Image

    Flight Fear

    Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting…
  • doorbell

    Quit Bothering Us

    We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next…
  • calendar

    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
  • Default Image

    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
  • Default Image
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
  • Default Image

    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
  • Default Image

    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
  • Default Image

    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
  • Default Image

    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, school history, job
history, ancestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medical
report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________


HEIGHT____________  WEIGHT_____________  IQ__________
GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND
BADGES______________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS__________________________  CITY/STATE___________
ZIP_____

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?
___________________________

If NO, please explain
_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married
________________________________

If less than your age, explain
_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Do you own a van? _____________

A truck with oversized tires?___________

A waterbed?_____________

A pickup with a mattress in the back?__________

A condom?_______________

Pornography?_______________

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring? ______________

A tattoo?_____________

(IF YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE
PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_______________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________


Church you attend:
______________________________________________________

How often you attend:
___________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

        father? _____________         priest? _______________

        mother? _____________         parole officer? _______

Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.


A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

_____________________________________________________________________


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

_____________________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

_____________________________________________________________________


E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:

_____________________________________________________________________

NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue.  Leaving premises
keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.


What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________

_____________________________________________________________________


What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________

Condoms come in packages of (circle one)

        A:  3
        B:  6
        C:  9
        D: 12
        E: ALL OF THE ABOVE

How do you know?_____________________________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_______________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for
processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause
you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentleman wearing black shirts and white ties carrying violin
cases (you might want to watch your back).

Have a nice day.

Powered By JFBConnect