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    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Curve Hand

    A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a…
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    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Freedom Peppers

    A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says, "Hey, how much for these…
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    Shopping On Up

    In a upscale department store, every night at closing time one of our customer-service…
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    Dentist Prayer

    One of my patients, about 6 yrs old, thought it wise to ask her dad to pray for her since…
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    More Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible! Anyone that flirts…
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    Rabbi Sneak

    There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Second Try

    Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Maturity Under Attack

    We Must Stop This!! Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything…
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    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…

*"Are you a Grinch?" Test*

1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).

2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).

4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or K Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points -- nobody but Angelenos dress a car).

9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheese ball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

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